MEDICAL DICTIONARY
Amputation........Charge of a fault or crime.
Antidote..........Mother's sister's reaction to new baby.
Artery............The study of paintings, sculpture, etc.
Bacteria..........Rear door to cafeteria.
Bandage...........Playful, teasing banter.
Barium............What Doctors do when patients die.
Benign............What you be after you be eight.
Bradykinesia......Possible state of mind after watching old sitcom.
Caesarean Section.A neighborhood in Rome.
Cardiologist......Expert poker player.
Cat scan..........Looking for kitty.
Cauterize.........Made eye contact with.
Colic.............A sheep dog.
Colon.............A punctuation mark.
Coma..............Another punctuation mark.
Bone..............What happens nine months after conception.
D & C.............Where Washington is.
Depressed.........First key typed when writing a letter.
Dilate............To live long.
Dyskinesia........Possible state of mind after slagging off a nuisance.
Endoscope.........My mouthwash has run out.
Enema.............Not a friend.
Fester............Quicker than someone else.
Fibula............A small lie.
Genital...........Non-Jewish member.
G.I. Series.......World series of Military baseball.
G.P...............The original Jeep.
Hangnail..........What you hang your coat on.
Homoeopath........Walkway to your front door.
Hormone...........Hooker fakes it.
Hospice...........Dobbin's urine.
Humerus...........Reaction to Woody Allen movie.
Hypnotherapist....Hula hoop maven.
Impotent..........Distinguished, Well known.
Injection.........Part of speech, such as "oh," "gosh," etc.
Intern............How customers are served at the deli.
Labor Pain........Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff.....A Doctor's cane.
Morbid............A higher bet than mine.
Nitrates..........Cheaper than day rates.
Node..............Was aware of.
Oncologist........Cockney horn blower.
Oral..............University in Tulsa.
Outpatient........A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear.........A fatherhood test.
Parkinson's.......Where to put your car when visiting your kids
Pelvis............Second cousin to Elvis.
Period............Yet another punctuation mark.
Pathologist.......Landscape gardener who lays walkways.
Post Operative....A letter carrier.
Psychologist......Tour de France rider.
Pubic area........Waiting room open to all.
Radiographer......Ham.
Recovery Room.....Place to do upholstery.
Rectum............Darn near killed him.
Scalpel...........Oral dandruff treatment.
Secretion.........Hiding something.
Seizure...........Roman Emperor.
Shaking palsy.....What you do to a friend's hand.
Specimen..........Italian astronaut.
Sterilizer........Man who fixes escalators.
Surgeon...........Source of caviar.
Surgery...........Dean Martin's sidekick gets a knighthood.
Suture............What you do if Cher won't pay what she owes you.
Symptom...........Simple Simon's younger brother.
Tablet............A small table.
Terminal Illness..Getting sick at the airport.
Testicle..........Icy stalactite on gutter of exam hall.
Therapist.........Perpatrator in crime against women.
Transplant........Factory where they make trans.
Tumor.............More than one.
Urine.............Opposite of you're out.
Vagina............Capital of Saskatchewan, HQ of the Mounties.
Varicose..........Near by/close by.
Vein..............Conceited.
X-ray.............Comes after whiskey and before yankee.
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Timothy R V Foster [log in to unmask]
The Garden Flat, 140 Salmons Lane, Whyteleafe, Surrey CR3 0HA UK
Telephone (UK) 0181-763-2225 Fax 0181-763-2011
Telephone (International) 44-181-763-2225 Fax 44-181-763-2011
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