From the onset of the disease "people who claimed to know" told me to expect
emotional expressions of distress far more frequently and with far more
force than pre diagnosis. Whether they planted the idea, or whether my
decrease in dopamine is to blame (I'm not taking Sinemet) the prophecy has
been fulfilled. At first I couldn't tell the difference between the river
of tears I was shedding daily in the early acceptance stages, and the river
of tears I was shedding at the impact of anything requiring a compassionate
response. While my acceptance tears have to some extent abated, my
emotional response to situations is still as fragile and vulnerable as it
was 2 yrs. ago. It caused me trouble one day in school when a student
confronted me in anger. Another time I got yelled at by a teacher who was
herself quite out of control. In both cases I started to cry and continued
for about a day and a half.
Right through my period 3 Gr. 10 English class. They were worried that they
had caused my sadness. When I reassured them they had not, that sometimes
really sad things happen and people, even teachers, cry, they felt okay and
the class got started. Recently, though, I was cleaning up the family room
and my son had the tv on. It was news time and they were showing the
funeral of the three little boys who were burned to death in Northern
Ireland. I immediately burst into wracking sobs that would not stop. (I've
mentioned in former posts that I do not watch tv. I truly cannot bear the
violence. It touches me at a place so fragile that I am helpless. I seem
to have no thick skin whatever. Television is definitely toxic for me.)
So, to know this about myself is the beginning of control. I do not
intentionally immerse myself in situations which will evoke these feelings.
(i.e. the new Spielberg movie is out for me.) I purposely withdraw from any
situation which feels like it's becoming confrontational. (Actually this has
had an enormous impact on my relations with, for example, store clerks. I
never confront. I am learning a whole new approach to negotiating prices
for services etc. Mutual good will goes much farther and brings far better
results than the old confrontation style. ) And if a really emotional
experience catches me without warning, just jumps out of the bushes and land
in my face, and I'm in public, and there are a million people watching me,
well...... I just cry.
Barb Rager
-----Original Message-----
From: Jerry Finch <[log in to unmask]>
To: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN <[log in to unmask]>
Date: Monday, July 27, 1998 10:35 AM
Subject: Re: My Friend Anne
>You asked:
>"Does anybody find that their ability to control an
>emotional response to a stressful situation has been
>impaired. Faced with a stressful
>situation a year ago, her body responded physically. eg
>increased pulse
>rate and blood pressure. A similar situation this week
>caused a more
>psychological reaction - she became very tense, even weepy -
>but her
>pulse didn't change, and her heart didn't react ( she has
>had heart
>problems in the past)"
>
>I respond:
>Just like Heitman, I absolutely lose control in a stressful
>situation. The tremors multiply about ten-fold IF I have to
>hold back and not take action. That's the amazing part -
>When my daughter was training a 3 year mare she was bucked
>off and had a hard time getting up. She was okay, but you
>would never expect an old Parkie like me to run across that
>pasture the way I did. No stumbles, no shuffle, just pure
>action.
>
>And, again like Bill, crying comes far too easy. Understand
>that I am one bad, mean SOB. I drink beer by taking a bit
>out of the can. Macho. A manly man. So it gets rather
>embarrassing at times, like during an AT&T commercial
>(father hugging daughter as she goes off to school), while
>watching Oprah, listening to certain music. Little things
>set me off real easy.
>
>It's to be expected, I think. The "why" is totally unknown
>to me and I haven't seen it discussed here to any great
>extent. It would make a good study to determine if the
>emotional sensitivity is due in some way to the physiology
>of Parkinson's or the side effects of Sinemet.
>
>You asked:
>"She also asks if anybody has found increased sleep
>disturbances as a
>result of taking just sinemet?"
>
>I replied:
>That is a topic of a LOT of discussion here. A good, solid
>sleep is something most PWPers only have memories of. For
>whatever reason, most of us are up and down several times a
>night, be it because of a full bladder or because our eyes
>pop open at 3am and we're wide awake.
>
>Turning in bed can be a slow process for a Parkie, resulting
>in becoming more awake than necessary (use silk sheets).
>Trying to get out of bed at 3am can be a real scream, also.
>A chair placed next to the bed can usually give the support
>necessary.
>
>The things you mention that Anne experiences are all normal,
>just part of the flow. Get her a computer for Christmas, let
>her join the list. This is a wonderful support group and
>we'd love to have her.
>
>
>--
>The Official PWP Dumpster Gang Hideout
>http://www.newcountry.nu/pd/
>The PWP WebRing
>http://www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?ring=parkie;list
>The Parkinson Alliance
>http://www.parkinsonalliance.net/
>
