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Jacob, I hope that you will be able to get more effective advice now that everyone can relate to the source of your PD. I can relate to your problem because I have been there, done that several times when I was younger. I can offer a little advice and that would be to remember what you went through and don't forget that suicide is a final solution to a temporary problem. It helps me when I get to feeling down and out to recall some of the good things that have happened to me at about the same time as the bad stuff. Make a list and if your honest about it I bet you will find that the good things happen more often. I hope you get some replies from some one more qualified to counsel than I am. I'm glad that you have reached out for help, you know that is what this list is all about. Good luck, my prayers are with you, Bob Chapman 65/3 Palm Springs, CA Jacob Drollinger wrote: > > Indeed, Bob. Most of the responses might have been quite different if the > writers would have known if they knew how it came about. > I will tell them now. > For most of my teenage years, I suffered from a severe (and unidentified) > psychological illness. At the age of 18, I decided to put an end to the agony > that I was feeling at that time; I attempted suicide by carbon monoxide > poisoning. I ended up with bi-lateral lesions to both the internal and > external globus pallidus, which is the cause of the pain I am feeling now. > This pain, however, is a flesh wound, a mere scratch, compared to the > emotional torment that confounded my family, the doctors, and me, for four > years.