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Dear Bruce & all: I'm going to try to be as objective about this as I can. I would rather get in the ring with Mike Tyson & go for 2 rounds than relive this experience; the outcome would be the same, but at least with Iron Mike, I'd know who the s.o.b. was who sucker punched me! My fight with this institution began in April of '93. I was so gullible! I had a wonderful talk with a very nice lady who filled in all the forms for me & said that yes-I was the type of person the system had been set up for; worked long & hard; sometimes 3 jobs at a time. (I was a bartender & a darn good one, too!) I had letters from past bosses, from my docs (altho not from my nureo-I was still afraid of him!) & she assured me that I would be approved without delay. After 14 months of heart-breaking denials, I went to retain the services of a lawyer who specialized in SS Disability cases. At our first meeting & until I signed a waiver promising to give him 25% of my back benefits obtained by him for me, he was like a kindly, older gentleman who hated to get involved with all of this "dirty business" but he was, he assured me, only in it to help people like myself who truly deserved these benefits, had paid into the system & suddenly found themselves unable to work anymore. I was to call him if I had any questions-any time night or day, & he would personally see to it that I was given a green light to discuss all aspects of my case. The next year was the most degrading, dehumanizing & demoralizing of my life. As soon as SS found out that I had retained legal counsel, it was as if I had become the enemy... & my lawyer went into this duck & hide mode. When I called his office to ask a question about the mile-high stack of documentation, or to see how things were going, he was never around & his robot secretaries were no help. I did get one very official correspondence from him. It was a severe (albeit nicely worded) tongue lashing telling me to leave this to him-these things are of a delicate nature and required time. Heck, time was on his side: the longer that my case dragged on, the bigger his chunk of back benefits would be. Meanwhile, we were living on my husbands' income as a City building Inspector; not a bad wage if you didn't have to pay mortgage & car payments & send 2 kids to Catholic school! Finally, on March 1, 1995, I was granted a hearing before a judge. I was scared to death (which ultimately played ito my favor-my tremor & symptoms were bad enough that it only took the judge a half an hour of questioning to come to the conclusion that I wasn't trying to scam anybody & that I definitely deserved SSD- but that he could not in good conscience grant it back to 1990 since I had worked part-time during the time my husband was overseas with Dessert Storm. I was floored! That was the first time that I had heard 1990 as the start date of my disability!! Before I could think, the judge pounded his gavel, scheduled another hearing 4 months later, & dismissed me. That lawyer never had a chance-I was so upset & sobbing like my life depended on the outcome of this mess! I sobbed after the judge, please, please-if I deserve it now, could you please just say my disability began today. I wouldn't take anything in back payments...just, please let me get off this insane merry-go-round of stress & heartache! You can bet that my lawyer had me hustled out into the hallway in mere seconds. He explained that he had my best interests at heart-getting me a large back settlement would truly vindicate me! BULLS---! It meant that his cut would be MORE! I said that I was going back in there & tell the judge that I didn't want anything-if he would just start my payments NOW. My lawyer slinked into chambers & came out in 2 minutes saying that he & the judge had agreed on stating that I became disabled 6 months prior, & that I would receive back benefits from that date. I still wonder if those two were in agreement about my case before ever entered the hearing room but no-that would be illegal! It still took about 4 months to start receiving benefits-the lawyer has to be paid first & the books closed on the case. Since that time, I have sworn off beating my head against a brick wall! In his song "Get Over It", Don Henley says: "Let's kill all the lawyers-let's kill them tonight!". He was speaking metaphorically & I am not at all into violence, but this is something I could probably get excited about! I'm kidding, honestly! So there you have my saga, Bruce. I can only say that I do not envy you the process you are about to undergo. I can only hope that they made it a little more "user-friendly" like they were supposed to do with the IRS. I will wish you Godspeed and remember you in my prayers. -- Joan Snyder (47/8) "Do or do not. There is no try."-Yoda [log in to unmask] http://www.newcountry.nu/pd/members/snyder/page1.htm