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Ivan M Suzman wrote: > > ^^^^^^WARM GREETINGS FROM^^^^^^^^^^ > Ivan Suzman 48/12 [log in to unmask] > Portland, Maine land of lighthouses 68 deg. F > *********************************************************** > > Dear Listfriends, > > Good news and bad news from a 12th--year PD survivor. > > Sometimes, I am alone at home, and I end up trying to make sense of my > life as it is, and giving up and sleeping on the sitting room floor, > when noone can be found for 4 to 7 hours at a time to help me out. I > start asking the what if's, like, what if I had a child? what if I lived > with mfy aunt? what if I gave up my house? what if I stopped taking > Sinemet, and died in a frozen state in my sleep? > > Why are caregivers supplied only $6.25/hour by the state of Maine?? Is > this universal for personal care attendants who you don't pay yourself, > due to your own low income?? > > I'm in my 12th year of PD. How do those of you with 10 years of PD. or > more, deal with ACCEPTING PD, when you know it is getting worse and > worse?? I do feel like my time is running out. And that is pretty > scary. I think my PD is progressing rapidly lately- has anyone noticed > how FEW of us are active on the list who have had PD 10 or more years? > > Ivan 48/12 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Ivan, and all you kind people out there, I wish I had some answers to these questions. Unfortunately, I only have the same questions, - and more. I really don't know how to deal with the situation. It's just there and that's it. I get very angry, but I try not to let that show. And sometimes I get sorry for myself- and I try not to let that show. But the most important thing is, I try and lauqh. What does the Reader Digest call it - "laughter the best medicine". And for that attitude of mind, I have to thank a very dear friend, that I have lost touch with since I came to the states and she went to Austrailia. But if any one out there knows Rozanne Zavelsky, please tell her thank you from me. If I knew how to contact you Rozanne, I'd say thank you personally and I hope one day to have the chance. You have always had my deepest respect and fondest admiration, and have been an inspiration. You taught me that there is no such thing as a cripple, save in the eyes of stupid people who know no better. You overcame your own personal tragedy of polio to become a role model, friend, a music partner and a shoulder to lean on. You taught me to look on adversity, not only as a challenge, but as a joke - albeit a bad joke at times - but something that could be laughed at and thus reduced in size. If it werent for you, Rozanne, I don't know how I would deal with my present situation. For you have set the example, and provided the guidance, and shown me the pathway. You have taught me to laugh at myself! Ivan, I broke down and cried when I read your letter. But then I saw this wacky picture in my mind of you watering and pollinating your tomatoes...........Nuff said. 'Laugh and the world laughs with you, Cry, and you cry alone' Hilary Blue (49,16)