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In a message dated 8/7/98 11:33:08 AM Central Daylight Time, [log in to unmask]
writes:

<<
 If anyone has feedback, suggestions, cautions, etc. in working with
 children in this situation, I'd be glad to hear from you. This isn't in any
 of the parenting books that I've read!
  >>


Rick,

I have had a similar experience.  One day in 1985 after my first retirement
(from the USAF) my youngest son unexpectedly asked me if PD was a "suffering
disease".
I didn't know the correct way to answer that, but, after thinking about it and
reaching no other answer, I told him yes, I thought it was.  That seemed to
satisfy him.  While he was not an athlete (a situation which I chalk up to my
not playing ball, wrestling with him, etc., when he was young).  He and I
discussed many things (such as the history of communism and the Viet Nam
thing) over the years.  He did very well in school and this year did not come
home from college, choosing instead to stay in the college town and work two
jobs.

However his then teenage brother went through a rebellious stage and only last
week he (now 30 years old) admitted that he was mad at me for having this
stupid disease and acting strange.  I had violated the contract between us
that dated back to when I adopted him at age two.  When I could no longer take
him out to the ranch to shoot, could not go camping and hunting with him, he
looked for such activities in his peers.  He played football, so I had his
coach as a partial surrogate and that helped.  However, the getting up in the
middle of the night and going out for ice cream, and other neat stuff was
over.  He flunked out of college as a result of majoring in women and minoring
in fraternities.  However, he now has two boys of his own and he calls every
week to tell me about his job and family.  He also never misses a chance now
to thank me for his raising and that he loves his mother and me.  I am
satisfied.  He is a very good friend.

What to do?  I don't know.  I guess all that one can do is hang in there, be a
dad in as much as that's possible and tell them the truth when they ask.


Regards,
WHH 54/18