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Darwin, In reply to your reply: ********* "FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE, FOR RICHER, FOR POORER, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, FOR AS LONG AS WE BOTH SHALL LIVE" answers this question rather succinctly. When there is no easy way out because you really stand by your vows, a person can find a way to live with it. If a person doesn't honor their commitment, then they have no honor. Darwin ********** I couldn't agree with you more. In my friend's case, however, he isn't abandoning his sick wife, she seems to have abandoned him years ago. A couple years ago, he almost filed for divorce based on abandonment. She had been living with her mother (who is also manic depressive), in another state, for two years. He was paying her medical bills, etc., and not only wouldn't she return home, but she didn't even acknowledge he existed. It's hard to help someone who doesn't want it. Somehow, about the end of that two year period, she came back, but it doesn't sound like things have improved much. In some ways I compare it to Christopher Reeves and his wife. They must both be frustrated about his physical limitations now, and the damper that also puts on certain normal physical aspects of marriage. Despite what's happened to him tho', Christopher is very much alive and even taking on new challenges (e.g., directing and pushing for a cure for his condition). Despte some dark moments here and there, he still maintains hope. That is key. He still loves his wife, and were he physically able, he would continue to express it in all possible ways. For her part, she deserves alot of credit, but again, despite the frustrations, he meets her halfway, as much as he can. I don't think that illness gives you the excuse to stop living up to your half of a marriage. If it does, then there's probably more at work there than meets the eye. Anyway, I give my friend credit for sticking with it for as long as he has, especially given the lack of interest on her part. I do hope they can both work it out, but personally, I think he'd be totally justified if he packed it in. Everyone deserves to be happy. Life isn't perfect, but one-sided relationships are unhealthy. Well, that's enough of my spiel. No one here may even care about this little side story, but I originally brought it up as I do feel that the caregiver does often get the raw end of the deal. I have no choice as to whether or not I wish to be involved with pd, but as I am single, I know it's gonna be twice as hard as it would be otherwise for me to find someone who's willing and able to deal with it. I can't blame anyone for that, altho' I'll still keep looking for someone who can handle it. Wendy