Q: How many SSD lawyers (or judges) does it take to change a light
bulb?
A1: How many can you afford?
A2: You won't find a SSD lawyer who can change a light bulb. Now, if
you're looking for a SSD lawyer to screw a light bulb...
A3: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and
the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do
hereby
and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the
second
part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a
result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e.,
the
lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area
ranging
from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating at
an
area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the
beginning
of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of
the
party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the
aforementioned agreement between the parties. The aforementioned
removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the
following steps:
1) The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or
without
elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool,
ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party
of
the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the
second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise
direction,
this point being non-negotiable.
2) Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part
(Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the
third
part ("Receptacle"), the party of the first part (Lawyer)
shall have the option of disposing of the party of the
second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with
all applicable state, local and federal statutes.
3) Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party
of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of
beginning
installation of the party of the fourth part ("New Light
Bulb").
This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with
the reverse of the procedures described in step one of
this self-same document, being careful to note that the
rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, this
point
also being non-negotiable.
Note: The above described steps may be performed, at the
option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by any or
all persons authorized by him, the objective being to
produce the most possible revenue for the party of the
fifth part, also known as "Partnership."
(Notice that the question is never answered! Typical of lawyer's don't
you think?)
My youngest son just graduated last year from Washburn University (A
well known
Lawyering school here in Kansas). He supplies me with some of the best
lawyer jokes!
Darwin H.
