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I remember when my mother was fighting lung cancer (regrettably, she lost -- most do -- another dreadful disease!) someone in a support group sang to me the words of an old Negro spiritual that was very comforting for a CG and daughter. Its basic message was that God only puts before you the mountains you can actually climb. I only wish I could track it down to share with you. Anyone heard of it? -Leslie daughter-in-law of PWP ---Janet Paterson <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > > ------------------------------------------------------- > Date: 27/07/97 14:08 > From: janet paterson > Subject: Re: Hard Times > ------------------------------------------------------- > > hi george > > you wrote > >Several recent posts to this list have been complaints, > >not complaints about the list, but complaints about our > >common condition, Parkinsons. The person complaining often > >sounds half-apologetic about his or her condiion. Taken > >all in all this list has well over 1000 PWP in various > >stages of affliction, from the trembling green recruit > >clutching for any word of assurance that things won't > >really become as bad as rumor has it, to the grizzled > >and battle weary veterans who know the truth first-hand. > > george > > this is a subject i've been mulling about for a long time > during those enforced pauses when my meds have kicked out > and i can do nothing much but rest and think > > i do believe that everything that happens to us > happens for a purpose > good or bad > all experiences are given to us to learn from > > if i can accept this > and expect life to be a difficult challenge rather than easy > then i find my attitude changing from > 'poor me! why is life so unfair?' > to > 'okay, okay... so what in heck am i supposed to be learning now?' > > when a couple of friends described me as courageous > my sister's reaction made me laugh: > she shot back, > 'she doesn't have courage, she has parkinson's!' > > isn't maturity supposedly recognising reality > and dealing with it to the best of our ability? > and if it's a lesson > why not make it as positive a learning experience as possible? > > admittedly > my perspective on the future of this disease > [as a relative newbie of 9 years] in 1997 > is a far cry from the 'grizzled and battle weary veterans' > but then again, i can't predict the future > > why sour today with self torments about me and pd in 2007? > i might be hit by a truck tomorrow! > and then would have 'wasted' the joys of today > > >And yet, the number of posts complaining about our situation, > >bleak as it may be, are relatively few. > >Are we really that brave or stoical? > > my soapbox theories about our society's brainwashing > now rush to the fore, again! > > it's not generally considered 'acceptable' > to talk about negative emotions > it's regarded as a sign of weakness > not being a good sport > not keeping your chin up > not letting your side down > something to be ashamed of > > >The Brian Collins's, Camilla Flinterman's, Charlie Meyer's, > >.... have found a new avocation in helping all of us. > > i value this 'connection' more than most > in my isle-olation > but i also look on this 'extended cyber family' > as a miracle of our time > maybe this 'family' is the real lesson here > not pd > who knows? > > i know i have no regrets > and wouldn't change a thing in the curriculum so far > > >The recent few complaints have concerned sleep... > >I don't move or turn over in my sleep and more than two hours > >in the same position (left side, right side, or back) > >would cramp my muscles ... > > i've never seen this mentioned on the list before > but it's something i've noticed as a major change in my sleep habits > since diagnosis or since medication > i think patricia yothers and i compared notes on this privately > [in fact it was the core of the 'stubby log-rolling tail'] > i wonder if it's more common than just the three of us? > > >I said "no," except that they don't work anymore. > >He smiled at my answer. > > now this gets me a tad riled > a condescending or bashful smile is of no use to anyone > might i suggest getting a second opinion? > > it occurs to me > that if female hormone levels > can affect the meds or the symptoms so dramatically > why not male hormones as well? > i believe that we all, male and female, have varying amounts > of all the hormones, male and female, > as part of our individual chemical bouillabaisse > > >My final words, for now, concern time. If there is any > >single symptom I would call characteristic of my PD > >it is my altered perception of time. Time just doesn't > >pass more slowly or more rapidly; it is just out of control. > >"Hours creep. Days fly." > > the idea of days and months and years flying by > ever faster as we get older > i think is universal > not due to pd > > if the hours creep > all the more time to extract some sweetness out of them > it's all around us > > > with love from your syber-sis > > janet > > > ------------------------------------------------------- > Date: 05/08/97 00:00 > From: janet paterson > Subject: Re: Hard Times > ------------------------------------------------------- > > hi charlie > welcome back! > your report was interesting, and appreciated. > do keep us advised of your progress > > >I think it is important that we bitch a little (or a lot) once in a > >while here. I have written here about healthy and unhealthy denial and > >while it is not productive to wallow in our misery there are a lot of > >times that I feel miserable and damn it, I have a right to feel sorry > >for myself- > > i'm intrigued by this > for some weird reason, i can't generate any resentment or anger > over the fact that i have pd, and i know i'm no saint! > > my initial reaction was certainly terror and panic at diagnosis > but that reaction was solely based on ignorance > which has been dealt a terminal blow by this list > > >when I am unable to go some place on my own > >when I wake up at 4 AM with muscle cramps > >When I watch the woman I love burdened by my lack of mobility > > forgive me, charlie, > i'm really not trying to trespass on anyone's area of expertise > but i have to ask you > do the above comments reflect your feelings that: > you 'should' be able to ... > you 'shouldn't' have to .... > and > she's bound to feel .... > and i 'shouldn't' ...? > are you still struggling with acceptance? > > do you think acceptance might be harder for a man than a woman > due to our societal brain/washing/staining in re > yardsticks of worth/success/strength? > > how does my talking about my seeing my diagnosis of pd > as a possible 'gift' strike you? > loony? > saintly? > bizarre? > > here is a little christmas tale that illustrates > one occasion of a 'light' going on in my head in re acceptance: > > ------------------------------------------------ > with my designer background > i've always been a pretty picky present wrapper > no visible scotch tape, patterned paper matching > colour coordination to die for > > last christmas my sister and i were behind schedule as usual > but this was really behind! > > it was christmas eve - and i was still wrapping presents > i was indulging in a drink or two which didn't help with the drug kick-in > but i was also into the dreaded 'hormone freeze' > === message truncated === == Leslie Lillard Walden ([log in to unmask]) h: 617-424-9126 w: 617-563-7639 _________________________________________________________ DO YOU YAHOO!? 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