Betty..... Loved the jokes, and nope, I'm not a blonde... Barb Mallut [log in to unmask] ---------- From: Parkinson's Information Exchange on behalf of Jim Cartwright Sent: Thursday, August 20, 1998 7:25 AM To: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN Subject: NONPD Jokes Pc mouse Hi Barbara & Terry I got this a week weeks ago. When I heard Barbara's problem I just had to send it, hope you are not blonde too Betty cg Jim 65\3 prince wrote: > Hi! I liked the jokes. They got here this time. See how you like these > 2. I have a lot of them, I'll hunt them up for you all. > Sidney > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > HOW TO CLEAN YOUR MOUSE > > This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field > engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was > quite serious. The engineers rolled on the floor. > > Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit). > Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform > erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate > nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be > attempted by properly trained personnel. > > Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining > the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder > than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon > the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using > the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off > method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive > handling can result in sudden discharge. > > Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used > immediately. It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of > spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any > customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of > removing these necessary items." > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Subject: PUZZLE > > A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door > > bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the > > bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order > > over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses > > are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 > > days!" Soon three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the > > chanting grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Two more blondes show up > > and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. "51 days, 51 > > days, 51 days!' Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under > > her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle > > and the table erupts. Up jumps the others, they begin dancing around > > the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting "51 days, 51 > > days, 51 days!' The bartender can not contain his curiosity any > > longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a > > beautifully framed child's puzzle of the Cookie Monster. When the > > frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, > > "What's all the chanting and celebration about?" The blonde who brought > > in the picture pipes in, "Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they > > make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us > > got together, bought that puzzle and put it together ... the side of > > the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days!'