Did Ya' Ever Just Wonder....
1. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
2. Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak?
3. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
4. If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as
cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
5. Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the
battery
is dead?
6. Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Orientals throw
hamburgers?
7. Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished?
Shouldn't
they be called builts?
8. Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
9. Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them
what time it is?
10. Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is?
11. Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
12. Who is general failure and why is he reading my disk?
13. The light went out, but where to?
14. Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they
already know you don't have?
15. Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?
16. Why is the alphabet in that order?
17. If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe
is
expanding, what is it expanding into?
18. If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward,
would
the taxi driver end up owing you money?
19. What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
20. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do
the
other trees make fun of it?
21. Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
22. When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss??
It
sounds like a near hit to me!!
23. Do fish get cramps after eating?
24. Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
25. Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in
charge
of everything outdoors?
26. Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
27. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
28. When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
29. Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open,
it's
not a door?
30. Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
31. How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always
ducked
when someone threw a gun at him?
32. If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of
progress?
33. Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing
liquid contains real lemons?
34. How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
35. Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
36. Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
37. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
38. Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a
suitcase?
39. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
40. Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
41. What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
42. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? (Think about it for a while!)
43. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys
and
apes?
44. Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
45. Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
46. Do married people live longer than single people or does it just
SEEM
longer?
47. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the
self-help
section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose
48. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are
they
all still working?
49. Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
50. Isn't the best way to save face is to keep the lower part shut?
J. Darwin Hawkins, Test Engineering
Phone: (316) 523-2804 (W), (316) 788-2322 (H)
Fax: (316) 523-3130 (W)
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