On April 7 of last year I too made a decision to go on STD, I too planned on returning. My situation was different, no lawyers, just an evil power hungery,people destroying person (and that is being r-e-a-l-l-y nice!!!!!). I had worked my way up in the newspaper advertising business and was in the second highest position in advertising when "it" arrived. I prefer "it" to qualifying this so called person as a human being in hopes that no human would ever be this evil. I was a threat to her (why I do not know) but, I was and so she sweetened the pot and then poured vinegar in it. Needless to say Sta-ta-ta-ta stress was highly prevelent. The 6 months I endured with her was HELL(after working 8 1/2 years at this paper, and being promoted almost every year). My symptoms progressed at high speed. My doctor had been recommending for over 1 year for me to consider disability and now was even more convinced,but, not me folks, I am a single parent, cared for and raised my two children alone from ages 3 and 5 to their current ages of 23 & 25 and had always been able to pick myself up by my "bootstraps" and conquer anything. So, no PD or "it" was going to defeat me. Between "it", PD,Fibromyalsia and/or Chronic Fatigue Syndrom or both who knows and I almost forgot something I had also never experienced before, depression. Well, I went out on STD on April 7,97 and filed for State Disablilty and Social Security. After 3 months of sleeping, hurting, crying and lamenting, I knew I could not do the same job. So, I decided to go back as a salesperson (the job I started with 8 1/2 years ago) I know you would think that would be humiliating but, I had a wonderful peace about doing that and had made good friends in the company. That would be easy and fun (I thought) but, to my dissappointment, it was not. If it had not been for my staff (which really wasn't my staff anymore) that graciously covered up my errors and did alot of running for me to customers etc. and friends in other departments covering for me. I would not have made it the 3 weeks I did. It was fighting but, I knew in my heart what I needed to do. This may sound like a depressing story...... but, read on, it gets a whole lot better! I was so frightened, what would I do? How would I live? I have a very strong faith in God, but, at that very dark hour, my faith was very weak. But, God says in our weakness He is made Strong! Here is the results......Little did I know that my company carried a Long Term Disabilty Plan for their employees that pays 70% of your most recent wages until I am 62 (I was 48 at the time) and then my retirement would kick in. To me that is miracle #1. Miracle #2 was that if I had worked one more day, I would have received 70% of my salespersons wage instead of my Advertising Managers wage. I am required by the LTD company to apply for social security and appeal the maximum amount of times aloud. So, my LTD company paid me 70% of my wages but, deducted the estimated amount that SS would eventually pay. At first that was not too bad, because I was able to collect State Disability for 1 year. It was less than SS should pay but, still ok. As nice as all this was my income was considerably less because I also made bonues, spiffs, commission,etc with my position and the 70% was of salary only. Miracle #3 is that a very dear friend of mine decided it would be beneficial for the two of us to share housing. Actually our children (which are like siblings) decided first and then spoke to us. My friend had recently divorced and her youngest son was going off to Evangel College in Missouri, with her help, of course. So, both of us needed financial adjustments. Miracle #4, 3 weeks ago, after only one appeal with SS, I was approved and sent a retro check for Oct 97 through July of this year. I know not everyone has this kind of story, but, I do pray that you will. Hang in there, don't forget how important you are, think of your needs, be a little selfish at this time. I am learning a lot. It has been very hard to go from someone that was very career orientated and with a very sharp mind to being home, not working, and struggeling sometimes to get out the words that I want to say... I see them know what they are, but, can't get them out. I now look at this as a new adventure, the second half of my life, a new beginning, not how I planned it but, has the potential to be what my attitude wants it to be. God Bless You, Linda Greulich Linda L. Greulich ~~ [log in to unmask] Ontario, California 91762 USA 49/8, Tasmar,Sinemet,Amatadine,Zoloft.