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Has you friend never heard of "pikuach nefesh" - to save a soul. Jewish Law permits any commandment to be set aside, if it will save a life - which is open to much interpretaion, but given the choice your friend has, I would drive you to the hearing! But I guess I'm a PWP, so I see things differently; so no insult intended to your friend; it's just the way I am ! Anyway I shall think of you while I'm in synagogue, and pray for you. Hilary Blue Barbara Mallut wrote: > > I'll be at the SSDI hearing by 9:30 to meet with my lawyer, and the hearing > itself starts at 10:30, Gina. > > Actually, I'd been so caught up in this SSDI thing, that I completely forgot > that the 21at is Roshashana - the start of the Jewish High Holidays. I got a > rude awakening this evening when my friend who'd' volunteered to drive me to > the hearing backed out because she'll be in synagogue then. > > I'm going to go to that hearing tho, and figure that God will understand > 'cause looking around amongst his creations here, I can see that HE > understands what the word "priority" means. > > If worse comes to worse, I'll just grit my teeth and "drive over the hill," > (as we l who live in the San Fernando Valley call the City-side of L.A.) in > the heavy morning traffic - about an 1 to an hour an a half drive at that > hour. I haven't driven a distance like that (I usually drive BLOCKS, not > miles) in a coupla-three years. > > Thanks for planning on being with me in spirit, Gina. That means alot to me. > > I'm going to feel the essence of so many dear Parkie friends surrounding me > with their good will and support at that hearing that it'll be like I'm > wearing a coat of armor to protect me from anything the SSA can throw my way. > > Warm hugs at ya.... > > Barb Mallut > [log in to unmask] > > ---------- > From: Parkinson's Information Exchange on behalf of Gina Cass > Sent: Monday, September 14, 1998 5:26 PM > To: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN > Subject: Re: Short-term Disability Rest of my life type stuff. > > God Love ya Barb: I am honored to be your friend, the passion and fire coming > in on your email is amazing. I believe going to court with that attitude will > bring the place down and win for everyone that day. Even those not going to > court, those not yet diagnosed and those just having a single episode. You > are a formidable fighter taking on the scores of nonbelievers for all of us. > Thank you lady. I am with you. You will be going on the 21st at what time. > Typical court building or SS Office? Well, I will personally send myself > there with you. I will be sitting in the audience with my usual look. Hair > that is silver, kind of a wild style, short, blue eyes, a PD complexion (so > pretty, kicker I never had a blemish in my life), swollen legs, ankles, feet, > walk with a walking stick as I have a very bad habit of toppling over, dizzy > spells, etc., I now notice that I lean to the left my head just wants to go > that way, Aches and pains everywhere so you will hear me moaning in court, and > shifting from side to side can't find a comfortable position to sit, so you'll > look out and find a few of us moving, shifting, groaning, moaning. Since, my > meds have not settled out yet I still get these major tremors and if I slide a > dose for a while whoa that outa be something. But with shakes I can't hold > books, magazines, phamlets, etc., in my hands and read so I now have my > headset with me and various little audio books, music tapes, play those > somewhat loud. I have noticed something relatively new, these little body > jerks, along with the head bobs, lip quivering, leg jumping, throat clearing > visions I should really be convincing. Get a little group of us all in an > area to "Sit" kinda and the judge won't be watching the other side. He will be > so freaked and say "Hey Aunt Petunia had something like that, but she was so > old. You're to young are you"? But he would look at us and say "Maybe not." > See, I figure I am good for a few little things. > I want to relate something that happened to me: It was last Wednesday, as I > was still awake decided to go to bed, lay there put my legs up and pray for > sleep. I got into the bedroom as I had for seven years the same way. I was > standing at the end of the King Size Bed trying to sort dog -- dog -- cat from > covers, sheets & comforters. I was somehow turned around. I stopped and > waited hoping to hear the snoring a dog or my husband. All was quiet. OK, > lets try it again. I walked to the door, rotated back facing the bed one more > time. Carefully picking my steps so as not to fall and wake anyone I was at > the end of the bed again. Lost, I could not find my way. The picture in my > mind was the other side of the bed and I was over by the door again. This > time my one dog Bandit sat up and huffed as if to say, "Well come on, I want > to sleep." So stood one last time hoping to find my way. My husband asked > what was wrong in a sleep state, me at that moment being to proud, to > independent told him nothing was wrong. I was OK. But as I made that final > attempt to find my bedrail, I failed. I know I ran my hand along the whole > side but could find nothing familiar. At that point I was crying and so > afraid. I was scarred, feeling so all alone, so vulnerable. Oh God, please > help me. I am sitting crying right now, this poor computer. I was so hurt. I > didn't realize how much I am beginning to depend on others. How the sometimes > get so frustrated with me/PD. It just hurt so badly. I left the bedroom and > slept on the couch as I had so much lately if I sleep at all. And at 3:00 AM > there aren't many there to here the lonely cry. I am angry, hateful, hurting, > cheated, thought of as the disease (we being one and the same). I am locked > inside this shell that is deteriorating and I want out of it. I don't want to > shake, and fall, and walk funny, and have skin on my face like so much > leather, Take this med, take that med, eat this at this time, don't eat that, > report, report, report. Try to get SSDI or any help at all. Work outside the > home and be punished. I can't even think of working. Even the thought makes > the tremors go nuts. I have dropped things, pushed things, paper plates are a > joke, food just bounces off. I have such pain tonight. I am so tired of this > crap. We get on the list and talk, trying to help each other when we should > be living full, active and healthy lives. The only active part is how much > our bodies move without our help. There's a new one, an exercise program > entirely of PWP, what a concept. Do the PD Shake. The falling part I can do > real well. I know that everytime I fall, a new rail goes up. > Boy, I do go on. I thank for those of you who have listened. I needed to > vent with people who know what this disease is. It is hard to talk with > someone who hasn't a clue. I also, don't know who came up with the phrase > "Side Effects." Let's try "Main Effects," and sometimes they are worse then > the problem. Almost makes you want to quit. I used to do Accounting, I was > an Accountant. Now, I have mush for brains, I can't key very well do to > shaking (double key, triple key, no key), I can't stay seated due to pains. > So, I am on SSDI with a re-hearing in May 1999, maybe they will find a job I > can do in my physical and mental state. Ticket taker, but then one of the > meds has lent me to bout of Hallucinations and Paranoia. I wanna be there, I > wanna hear this one. > Well, I have to blow my nose, whip my eyes and sweep the floor. Darn > Hallucinations, there are so many things crawling on it. Yes, Jim and Betty I > went back on the Seroqual, just hasn't kicked in yet. God bless you. > Thank you for letting me dump. I am having a really hard time. Couldn't > guess eh? > TTFN > Gina > Oh yea Med time!!!!!!!!!