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my dear barb our lives seem to run on semi-parallel tracks you've had a lot of upheaval and personal stress in the past few months so have i you are facing a major disability pension decision so am i back in may, i wrote to us all asking for advice re applying for disability with a basic question: how do i [or my doctors] fill out the forms describing my 'abilities' when they vary from day to day and from hour to hour depending on meds, food, hormones and the stars? i received many answers and their message was loud and clear, viz: --------------------------------------------------------- >Date: Sun, 3 May 1998 10:41:19 EDT >From: Janet313 <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: Re: help help help - re disability pension this time > > hi all > > i am so grateful for all of your speedy replies > i've already received 8 messages from you > > so many of you advised me to describe my worst 'off' condition > which was the way i was already instinctively leaning > although somewhere in the depths of my brain > [guilt? denial? hope springing eternal?] > i 'wanted' to use more positive terms > > however > gail's response in re my "biological condition" vs my "medicated condition" > made the lightbulb go on over my head > bingo! > > without meds > i cannot function well at all > and that's the condition i will report on... > > more evidence of this miraculous dynamic at work... > > janet > >--------------------------------------------------------- another response was one from jeremy browne in england: >There's only one thing for it: complete every answer as if you >were at your worst OFF all the time. In UK, this is how we have >to answer the various claim forms. Also in UK an end-of-dose >disability is just as legally a disability as a full-time disability. my unsolicited opinion: barb, i know you like to 'look your best' but i don't think this is the time to pander to vanity i don't mean that to sound harsh or critical i used to indulge myself with fake fingernails had long red nails all the time every day for four years what did all that prove in the long run? that i had lots of spare time and cash to fool around with them who did i need to prove all that to? i realized that the people i truly cared about couldn't care less about my nails as long as i was happy the judge's mindset might very well be 'hmmm ... if she has the time and money and ability to take that much effort with her appearance... hmmmm' not to say that is 'fair' or the way things 'should' be handled but it is probably reality for now scott peck describes having a strong will this way: > like having a dozen Clydesdales in your backyard. Those horses >are massive and extremely strong, and yet if they are not properly >trained, disciplined, and harnessed, they will knock your house >down. On the other hand, if they are properly trained, disciplined, >and harnessed, then with them you can literally move mountains. [my weekend highlight was the workhorses competition at Almonte's 140th anniversary agricultural fair!] you describe a lot of angry feelings i agree that you can probably channel that energy into positive action rather than negative and potentially self destructive venting in the judge's presence we have all been brainwashed into chin up make nice dont complain dont reveal any weakness dont embarass yourself or your family but this is the time maybe the one and only time where that false positive brainwashing must be discarded where the worst possible 'face' MUST be put on your condition not exaggerated just not prettied up in any way if i were in your situation i would strongly consider going before the judge completely unmedicated no matter what it took to get there in that condition wheelchair ambulance whatever this is their game and their rules my anger would be channelled into if they want disabled they're gonna get disabled! by gum! you are not asking for handouts you are part of your society and obligated to adhere to its rules as well as entitled to partake of its benefits all of them if in your opinion the rules/benefits are being badly managed take strategic action to correct them for society's sake but don't put yourself at risk needlessly but again, my dear cyber-sis, this is unsolicited advice just my opinion offered out of concern do with it what you will love janet janet paterson - 51/10 - almonte/ontario/canada http://www.newcountry.nu/pd/members/janet/ [log in to unmask]