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I would like to play the part of Kenneth of Starr. Anyone interested in King Leer, The Duke of McCurry, Witch Tripp, the Messenger, the Courier, Geraldo of Rivera (a non-speaking part) - or Buddy? We could present this as a PD fundraiser.... I don't know if the plot is very believable, tho. Who could ever imagine a King would.............. well, read the play! -----Original Message----- From: Bruce Anderson <[log in to unmask]> Date: Friday, October 02, 1998 12:20 PM Subject: Shakespeare and Clinton > THE TRAGIC COMEDIE OF KING LEER > > Scene 1. A forest glen. > Enter Witch Tripp and Kenneth of Starr. > > > > Witch Tripp: > Double, double, Webster Hubbell, > I think I got the Creep in trouble. > Eye of Newt, strap of bra, > Could it be he broke some law? > Praise this broth utmost ephemeral, > Heavens! I left out my Essence of Emeril! > Hark! Who trespasses so near? > > Kenneth of Starr: > 'Tis I, the Inquisitor. What news? > Witch Tripp: > Things proceed with quickening speed, m'lord. The maiden > Lewinsky, so > deeply embroil'd, is now join'd by the Lady > Willey in like pursuit. Daily tightens the noose around the > king. > Starr: > Would that it were so, but he hath good counsel, and more > moves > than a > chess board. His public, well pleas'd with good > news of the economie, doth o'erlook much. > > Witch Tripp: > How may I serve you next? > > Starr: > I have need of acts damnable and facts verifiable. Else he may > elude > me yet. > Witch Tripp: > His dog Buddy, freshly neuter'd, may bear his master harsh > reproach. He may consent to wearing a collar of our > invention, to survey the king at his ease. Dogs are much > accustom'd to insects. What's one more bug? > > Starr: > Good hag, I rely on you completely. I must away. (Exeunt >Tripp and Starr) > > Scene 2. The king's antechamber > > Duke of McCurry: > My Lord! I needs must speak with you most urgently! The castle > is assaulted on all sides! > Leer: > What would I not give for an hour's peace! > McCurry: > An army of reporters is settled at thy gate. They are press in > name and press in deed, for they press me daily, nay, > hourly for some explanation from thy lips. > > Leer: > Who is there among them? > > McCurry: Lords Jennings, Brokaw, Rather, Geraldo of Rivera, >and a host > of others. Methinks I spied the van from Hard Copy. > > Leer: > You cut me to the quick. Do they not know that I am chaste? > > McCurry: > They insinuate that thou hast chased too often. > > Leer: > Never have lies been so artfully stack'd against a pure soul. > Where is Lady Hillary? > > McCurry: > Her secretary doth report that she is lock'd in her bath, >saying > over and over, "Why can I not wash my hands of this guy?" > Leer: Oh cursed fate! I must be the most solitary mortal in >all > creation. Never have I betrayed m'lady's trust. > > McCurry: (shrugging) > Whatever. > > (Enter Messenger) > > Messenger: > Good king, steel thy nerve. I bring a missive from Kenneth of > Starr, the Grand Inquisitor. > > Leer: > Was ever a man as Starr-cross'd as I? Why does this man > conspire > to afflict me thus? My hand is unsteady. Read it to me. > > Messenger: > Let me see. He offers you his regards, blah, blah, blah, then > doth subpoena you to appear at his chamber at Friday > next, to forswear again that thou tookst no liberties with >the > Jones wench, who withdraweth not her claims against you. > > Leer: > I have already so sworn! > > McCurry: > It would seem, m'lord, that the woeful tale ofLady Willey > rekindles old flames. > > Leer: > I kiss'd the woman on the forehead, as a sign of my regard. > Never was a king so expos'd! > > McCurry: > Truer words were ne'er spoken. > > Leer: > I cannot think on't further. Leave me to my own counsel. > > (Exeunt Messenger and McCurry) > > Leer: > To be forthright, or not to be forthright, that is the > question. > Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and > arrows of outrageous fortune, or just bag the whole > thing and teach law at a junior college. > > (Enter Courtier) > > Courtier: > My liege, you are late for an appointed meeting. > > Leer: > What's this? > > Courtier: > You were to interview a new assistant at the stroke of two. > She > seems most capable, and with rare intellect > for one so young and fair. > > Leer: > Well, tell her I will see her anon, and on, and on. > > Courtier: > A most clever jest, my king. > Leer: > Let us not tarry further. > > (Exeunt Leer and courtier. Enter Buddy, from behind a chair) > > Buddy: > So dearest reader, I bid adieu. Me seeth I have much to do. > And so it comes to this pretty pass, To see if the king doth > get > some ass! > >