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Enough of the serious stuff, time to have a laugh!!!!!! M a r r i a g e h u m o r Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that. >> ------------------------ At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man." >> ------------------------ After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." >> ----------------------- A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted." Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." >> ----------------------- The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said: "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?" >> ----------------------- When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. >> ----------------------- Sixty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. >> ----------------------- Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished! >> ----------------------- A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know yet son, I'm still paying." >> ----------------------- Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: "That happens in every country, son." >> ----------------------- Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late." >> ---------------------- A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. The woman replied, "A billionaire." >> ----------------------- The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it. >> ----------------------- Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. >> ----------------------- If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. >> ----------------------- Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. >> ----------------------- You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she. >> ----------------------- Personally, I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as both husband and father, I can say anything I want to around the house. Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention. >> ------------------------ Husband: "Want a quickie?" Wife: "As opposed to what?" >> ------------------------- My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends. >> ------------------------- How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free. >> ------------------------- The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. >> ------------------------- First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." >> ------------------------- Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute. >> =========================