 |
 |
> Changes to the English Language > =============================== > The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English > will be the official language of the European Union > rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the > negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that > English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year > phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro- > English". > > In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly,this will > make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in > favor of the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have > one less letter. > > There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the > troublesome 'ph' will be replased with the 'f'. This will make words like > 'fotograf' 20% shorter! > > In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to > reach the stage where more komplikated changes are > possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double leters which > have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the > horible mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should > go away. > > By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' > with 'z' and 'w' wiz 'v'. > > During ze fifz year ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining > 'ou' and similar changes vud of kurs be aplid to ozer kombinations of > leters. After ze fifz yer ve vil hav a rali sensibl ritn styl. Zer vil > be no mor trubl or difikultis and evriun vil find it ezi tu undrstand ech > ozer. > > Zen Z Drem Vil Finali Kum Tru!! > > >