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Rita, You make the point that the ongoing demands and responsibilities of the woman's role in family life serve to extend the grieving process for women with PD. I would suggest that for both genders the process actually takes the form of an ongoing series of adjustments, each with its own grieving process to be experienced. Every PWP, whether female or male, has to come to terms with the fact of being a PWP. That is surely for all of us the single biggest adjustment we have to make. The next biggest, for those of us young enough to be still employed, is being forced into early retirement. Subsequently each loss of ability or worsening of symptoms brings its own period of grieving. If the PWP has successfully worked through the grief associated with the major events, the grieving for the (comparatively) minor events is usually less intense and consequently easier to come to terms with. For those stuck in the grieving process for the major events, each new cause for grief serves to intensify their existing grief and exacerbate their chances of bringing that particular grief process to completion. It is indisputable that women experience new causes for grief by virtue of their gender role, but so to do we men. The picture you draw of retired male PWP whose biggest worry is how to fill their idle hours is almost amusing. We men are subjected to frequent reminders of our inability to fulfil our perceived gender role of protector and provider. Take my own case - every bill reminds me that we as a family have been deprived of my best financial years, the years when I would have been consolidating our financial future - ever time I tell my children, or hear them being told, "no we can't afford it" I am reminded that without this disease we probably could afford it. There is cause for grief every time my worsening symptoms rob me of the ability to make one more contribution to our family community or reduce my contribution to a shadow of what it should be. There is cause for grief when in crowded places I no longer have the physical presence to make space for my family (and cause for pride too when they make space for me. Life is one long mixed emotion). All of the above concerns, and many others, are still factors in my life but, whilst I regret each and every one of them, they are no longer the cause of, or excuse for, grief. If we men do in fact to come to terms with our grief earlier then women do, (which I doubt) it is not because we have no reasons to grieve. Dennis. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Dennis Greene 48/onset 32 /dx 37 "It is better to be a crystal and be broken, Than to be a perfect tile upon the housetop." [log in to unmask] http://members.networx.net.au/~dennisg/ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++