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One has to wonder when in the name of "concern", and regaining personal control, a piece of advice is given which serves to deny that control and negate the very process through which that control can be honestly realised. The wonder is, why does Marling's anger threaten you to the extent that you would advise a fellow sufferer to "work through" it rather than offer support in validating it? This echos the "stuff happens get over it" philosophy of those still processing through the denial stage. When accepting the unacceptable in our lives, as we watch helplessly what we can control transform into irretrievable loss, the one thing we do have control over is the unleashed, open and free expression of our feelings. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' stages of acceptance are now an integral part of mainstream understanding. Debate may question their accuracy, but they still give structure to the process of accepting the loss of our health, our hopes, our plans for future fulfillment, our very identity. Nothing can rush this process, but we can delay it, particularly if we avoid conscious acknowledgement of the stages as we experience them. What Marling has done is publicly affirm her unyielding and adamant anger. This was an act of formidable courage. Anger is an empowering emotion. By attesting to it publicly, she in fact empowered herself. I personally have faith in the process of acceptance, as I have faith in the process of growth in all its forms. I do not need to advise someone who is proceeding perfectly well through this process to alter her path. Rather, my response to Marling is Bravo! "Do not go gentle into that good night/ Rage, rage against the dying of the light." (Dylan Thomas) Barb Rager -----Original Message----- From: Dennis Greene <[log in to unmask]> To: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN <[log in to unmask]> Date: Saturday, October 17, 1998 10:01 PM Subject: Re: Marling's outrage >Marling, > >>this one is in >>my home everyday, lives within me and I want it OUT. > > >Do you really imagine anyone actually wants to have PD? > >How any of us chooses to deal with our Parkinson's is very much a matter of >what suits the individual. Each of us has to learn to deal with our anger >at getting PD, and then move past it back into living our lives. Some do >this by seeing it as a gift, some by seeing it as a magnificent adversary, >some by "making the best of things". Reaching such an accomadation with PD >is a sign of having regained some control of our lives. Unmitigated anger >is not such an accomadation - it is a sign that PD is still in control. > >Marling - you are a active and strong antagonist of PD. You are also so >angry that you recently reported wanting to spit on people who have the >temerity to know so little about PD as to actually wish you well. Please >work through your anger so that, whatever accommodation you reach with PD, >you can attack it, not react to its attacks on you. > >It is my hope that you see this not as a personal attack, but as an >expression of my concern. > >Dennis. > >+++++++++++++++++++++++++++ >Dennis Greene 48/onset 32 /dx 37 > >"It is better to be a crystal and be broken, >Than to be a perfect tile upon the housetop." > >[log in to unmask] >http://members.networx.net.au/~dennisg/ >+++++++++++++++++++++++++++ >