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Marling, I wrote my initial response to you not because I thought that your anger was unjustified (I think your anger is totally justified), or because I felt your anger was misdirected. I wrote because you appear to be becoming locked into the anger phase of the grieving process and I was concerned because anger eventually does more damage to the angry person than to the object of the anger. Hopefully, despite your comments to the contrary, you will move into the next phase of the grieving process before (as Barbara M put it) your anger hurts you more than PD does. My best wishes to you. Dennis. I guess part of what I am trying to say is that although I admire people who can "accept" pd and live peacefully with it, I cannot. I do not want to, in my opinion, give in and let the pd rule. Yes, I am angry. I am very angry. I also have worked through who/what I am angry at/with. I am not angry with my father for where I live, nor God for having allowed me to have pd, nor anyone or anything specific. I am angry that I should have pd and cd in my 40's and be so far behind my expectations for myself. I am angry that I am no longer going the direction I thought my life should take. I am angry that I cannot play volleyball, racketball, softball, run, swim and be very active. I am angry that I do not have (in my opinion) enough energy to keep up with my grandchildren. However, if I let this anger strike randomly there is no telling how much damage it will do. And, if I try to hide this anger it will fester and rip me apart. But, if I use the energy of this anger toward helping myself and others to achieve a cure, make life less stressful, and generally help others, then it will have been worthwhile to be angry. Dennis, I know that I have Parkinson's Disease. I know that I must live with it and the limitations it puts on me until the cure is found. I have accepted that part of it. However, I will not allow it to rule my life. It may dictate some of my physical abilities, but it does not control my mind, nor direct where my life will take me. The intelligence which is "me" is after all in control of my destiny, not the PD. I hope that you all will keep the great thoughts coming and continue to be open about how your feel and what you think of the anger, depression, denial, bargaining, and acceptance stages we are all going through over and over again as our physical abilities slip away. Thank you all (you too Dennis) for your thoughts and help. "don't forget how to laugh, and do it often" [log in to unmask] http://members.tripod.com/~marling