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hi bill you wrote: >Is rage a common symptom of PD? If so, is the source >psychological or physical? Is the source frustration or >from something in our physical brain? >I believe frustration. i believe that you are right rage = anger = fear >My episodes of rage began before my diagnosis and medication, >so I do not suspect that it is drug-induced. But it is not drug-relieved, >either. i wouldn't be surprised if you struggled with a lot of doubt and fear prior to diagnosis simply because of worry over your one health i was terrified that i had something 'serious' like ms or a brain tumour and simply avoided the issue by keeping my head in the sand as long as i possibly could which meant that i worried myself sick for three years avoidance of fearful events/ideas might be a 'typical female approach' while i would guess that a 'typical male approach' might be more pro-active [or maybe not] fear and frustration at not knowing would easily create anger and rage fear and frustration at finally knowing and not wanting to accept it would also create anger and rage accepting it in your own heart and mind and soul is one thing but laying it open to be examined and hopefully accepted by your colleagues and / or your family and / or the general public is a whole other thing with a whole other multitude of layers of worry and fear baggage >I believe that I control it well. But perhaps some of you can >tell me if it gets worse with increasing PD symptoms. maybe your 'control' is dependent on your hiding it? it seems to me that if you haven't been able to accept / acknowledge your diagnosis totally and publicly then every progressive step / symptom will only act as a slap in the face and increase the fear / anger / rage spiral i feel lucky in that somehow [i am not a saint] i have been able to accept / acknowledge / own my situation as it is without bitterness or anger or denial [not now at any rate] i have received it, taken it in, as something important given to me to learn from given to me specifically getting angry about it would seem as bizarre to me as getting angry at the rain >I have yet to have an outburst at work. But it's coming. >Since they are not yet aware of my PD, eyebrows will be raised. aha you don't know for sure what their reaction will be and anything un-known is cause for worry and fear and frustration 'your work is not your worth' it took me a long hard time to learn that one my job, my status, my title, my shareholdings, my influence all mean nothing when it comes down to brass tacks [you will never hear anyone say, as their dying words, "gee, i wish i had spent more time at the office" !!!] acknowledging that is one hard thing and looking at it as 'not a loss' is another hard thing but coming out the other side is wonderfully enlightening and freeing >My breakthrough was in recognizing that my >feelings of rage were usually from within myself, >and not caused by my wife or colleagues. aha this is what i'm saying! [me, and david burns, and scott peck, and daniel goleman....] >My biggest problem now is determining whether my rage >is justified. Sometimes anger is justified. And useful. you are the only one who can do the digging to find out but the digging in itself is painful and can be frightening all i can say is that i have been through a lot of self inflicted 'digging' and i know that it hurts like hell at the time however learning to feel despair means learning to feel joy and that's almost all i feel now >I would like to learn how others have dealt with this problem. >You are great resource. Better, in many ways, than the physicians. >You've been there. yep we've been through the fire are still going through the fire only a co-fire-fighter can understand it fully i have changed a great deal because of fighting this fire but [once again mis-quoting t.s.eliot et al] in my beginning is my end in my end is my beginning your cyber-sibling in fire-fighting janet ps more to the point of your question parkies tend to be 'more emotional' than non-parkies and getting 'more emotional' can have profound effects on our meds catch-22! janet paterson - 51 now / 41 dx / 37 onset - almonte/ontario/canada http://www.newcountry.nu/pd/members/janet/ [log in to unmask]