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Hate to tie up list with humor, but I love it so, I know it's what keeps me
going many and many a day. Read and enjoy
Gerry
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From: "Haines, Vanessa" <[log in to unmask]>
To: "[log in to unmask]" <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: FW: Do-able Diet
Date: Wed, 28 Oct 1998 07:54:19 -0500
Return-Receipt-To: "Haines, Vanessa" <[log in to unmask]>
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> -----Original Message-----
> From: [log in to unmask] [SMTP:[log in to unmask]]
> Sent: Tuesday, October 27, 1998 5:18 PM
> To: Haines, Vanessa; [log in to unmask]; [log in to unmask];
> [log in to unmask]; [log in to unmask]; [log in to unmask];
> [log in to unmask]; [log in to unmask]; [log in to unmask];
> [log in to unmask]; [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Do-able Diet
>
> DIET FOR STRESS
>
> This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that
> builds up during the day.
>
> Breakfast:
>
> 1/2 grapefruit
> 1 slice whole wheat toast
> 8 oz. skim milk
>
> Lunch:
>
> 4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
> l cup steamed spinach
> 1 cup herb tea
> 1 Oreo cookie
>
> Mid-Afternoon snack:
>
> The rest of Oreos in the package
> 2 pints Rocky Road ice cream nuts, cherries and whipped cream
> 1 jar hot fudge sauce
>
> Dinner:
>
> 2 loaves garlic bread
> 4 cans or 1 large pitcher Coke
> 1 large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
> 3 Snickers bars
>
> Late Evening News:
>
> Entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from freezer)
>
>
> Rules for this Diet
>
> 1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no
> calories.
>
> 2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the
> candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
>
> 3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you
> do not eat more than they do.
>
> 4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot
> chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
>
> 5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look
> thinner.
>
> 6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they
> are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's
> personal
> fuel. Examples: Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red
> Hots
> and Tootsie Rolls.
>
> 7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes
> calorie leakage.
>
> 8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in
> the process of preparing something.
>
> 9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories.
> Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and
> mashed potatoes.
>
> 10. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for
> any other food color.
>
> 11. Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This is
> due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
>
> 12. Anything consumed from someone else's plate has no calories
> since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and
> will
> cling to his/her plate. (We ALL know how calories like to
> cling!)
>
> REMEMBER: STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS
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