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Hate to tie up list with humor, but I love it so, I know it's what keeps me
going many and many a day. Read and enjoy
Gerry

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From: "Haines, Vanessa" <[log in to unmask]>
To: "[log in to unmask]" <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: FW: Do-able Diet
Date: Wed, 28 Oct 1998 07:54:19 -0500
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> -----Original Message-----
> From: [log in to unmask] [SMTP:[log in to unmask]]
> Sent: Tuesday, October 27, 1998 5:18 PM
> To:   Haines, Vanessa; [log in to unmask]; [log in to unmask];
> [log in to unmask]; [log in to unmask]; [log in to unmask];
> [log in to unmask]; [log in to unmask]; [log in to unmask];
> [log in to unmask]; [log in to unmask]
> Subject:      Do-able Diet
>
> DIET FOR STRESS
>
>  This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that
>  builds up during the day.
>
>     Breakfast:
>
>   1/2 grapefruit
>   1 slice whole wheat toast
>   8 oz. skim milk
>
>       Lunch:
>
>   4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
>   l cup steamed spinach
>   1 cup herb tea
>   1 Oreo cookie
>
>       Mid-Afternoon snack:
>
>   The rest of Oreos in the package
>   2 pints Rocky Road ice cream nuts, cherries and whipped cream
>   1 jar hot fudge sauce
>
>       Dinner:
>
>   2 loaves garlic bread
>   4 cans or 1 large pitcher Coke
>   1 large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
>   3 Snickers bars
>
>       Late Evening News:
>
>   Entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from freezer)
>
>
>         Rules for this Diet
>
>   1.  If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no
>       calories.
>
>   2.  If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the
>       candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
>
>    3.  When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you
>        do not eat more than they do.
>
>   4.  Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot
>       chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
>
>    5.  If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look
>        thinner.
>
>    6.  Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they
>        are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's
> personal
>        fuel.  Examples: Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red
> Hots
>        and Tootsie Rolls.
>
>    7.  Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes
>           calorie leakage.
>
>    8.  Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in
>           the process of preparing something.
>
>    9.  Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories.
>        Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and
>        mashed potatoes.
>
>   10.  Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for
>        any other food color.
>
>   11.  Anything consumed while standing has no calories.  This is
>         due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
>
>   12.  Anything consumed from someone else's plate has no calories
>          since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and
> will
>          cling to his/her plate.  (We ALL know how calories like to
> cling!)
>
>     REMEMBER: STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS

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