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I thought you would all enjoy a laugh for the weekend. Here it is: GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED > 1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. > 2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. > 3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. > 4. Never ask a 3-year old to hold a tomato. > 5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food. > 6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. > 7. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic-tac. > 8. Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time. > 9. School lunches stick to the wall. > 10. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. > 11. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. > > GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED > 1. Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree. > 2. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look > for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that > > wrinkles don't hurt. > 3. Reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day, someone in an > aerobics class pulls a hamstring. > 4. The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant > atmosphere...and let the air out of their tires. > 5. Families are like fudge...mostly sweet with a few nuts. > 6. Middle age is when you choose cereal for the fiber, not the toy. > 7. The more you complain, the longer God lets you live. > 8. If you can remain calm, you don't have all the facts. > 9. Eat a live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing worse can > happen to you the rest of the day. > 10. You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and > wonder what else you can do while you're down there. Helen Mason --