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Hello to all of you! Dr. Barber has written an insightfully wonderful
letter to the children of us PWP's. Thank you so much for asking and
thank you, Doctor for writing such a gut-wretchingly beautiful reply.
"I need to be understood. " This is a basic need that everyone has-I see
it especially in the children of friends who have ADD or who are
autistic. It's such a simple request, really, but one that can build
walls the size of mountains if it goes undone. My own two children are 8
and 11. They have a very hard time understanding why their mom is the
one who has to have a disease; can't figure out what I'm saying in my PD
"little voice" & sometimes shout at me like I'm deaf out of frustration.
Sometimes the feelings &emotions are so complex & overpowering that my
only recourse is tears-and then they get angry because I'm crying again.
Sometimes the effort that it would take to explain all of this whole
thing overpowers me & exhausts me to the point where, in
self-preservation, things must go unsaid. But my children must grow up
in a home where there is love, prayer, respect & compassion. They will
learn to be tolerant of people who are different because of growing up
in a household with a grandpa with Alzheimer's & a mom with PD. I
believe this because every so often, I will see glimpses of  startling
maturity & gentle , little kindnesses in the midst of their youthful
frenetic energy. Often times a kiss must take the place of a smile that
won't show on my frozen face-sometimes it must be a frozen claw on an
arm-demanding that they look into my eyes to see how much I love them.
I'm certain that your parents feel the same way about you, but add to
their burden the fact that they may not be demonstrative even without
the PD and understand that pride (we do not feel right being weak &
needful in front of our children) can cause many of the problems that
are giving you such a hard time. Please, I'm asking this of all the
adult children of ParentsWP, take the time to rant & rage-you too  must
work through this & you must come to terms with this disease. Look
beyond the unspoken words, the blank stares & the hurt feelings & then,
finally, learn to understand. Love,  Joan

Joan Snyder  (47/10/8) <[log in to unmask]>   Peoria,IL
"Do or do not. There is no try."  Yoda
http://www.newcountry.nu/pd/members/snyder/page1.htm