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At 06:04 1998/11/09 -0500, you wrote, in part: >... going thru this thing with my dad's cancer has wiped both >of us out, finding out yesterday that it has spread from his >spine and neck to his chest, pelvis, and hips, who knows what >else.... he doesn't have a whole lot of time left.... my dear lisa my thoughts and love are with you and your dad my father died of throat cancer in 1977 after a two year struggle so i have some sense of what you are going through if you two can talk about the gravity of his illness [i.e. talk about dying without 'pussy-footing' or 'stone-walling' and make the most of the time that you may yet have together you may find that the two of you will get closer than ever we are all here in order to live and then to die no two ways about it your dad may be 'lucky' in that his illness and pain may be short relatively speaking the two of you may be 'lucky' in that he still has some time to share with you >my question is how does grief affect a non pd physically, I >have my usual shakes and jerks, but my usual abundance of energy >is gone, and at times I get so wiped out I can barely move, it's >all I can do to get to the bed and lay down. this is not me. >is this part of the grieving emotional things that affect a person, >I also have a hard time concentrating and focusing, remembering >stuff, am I losing it? I have been able to cry and let the feelings >out... so I guess that is a good thing. > >my guestion is is it grief, stress, emotions, depression, all >of the above. ? it's all of the above and more and no, you are not 'losing it' although strong emotions can have a big effect on pd symptoms the pain of losing a loved one the frustration of not being able to do anything the grief associated with losing a parent and all the history there the harsh reality that when a parent dies, you are next 'up to the plate' these are real emotions and real pain based on real circumstances they are not the 'distorted' thoughts associated with depression you are facing 'more' grief in a way than your dad because you will have to deal with the 'gap' in your life i highly recommend elisabeth kubler-ross' "on death and dying" as your bedside reading [and even as your dad's] as long as he can be kept comfortable and relatively pain-free you have a bigger opportunity to know and love each other now that you have ever had in the past wring every drop of joy [and/or pain] out of every moment with him while you still have him with love janet