 |
 |
Hello again: This train of thought has been on my mind constantly since the discussion started. My situation is somewhat the reverse of what adult children of PWP are dealing with, but I think that my experiences will perhaps shed some light on why you can't seem to "connect" with your parents. My mother lives with us & she is a saint by every definition of the word; she folds laundry, makes beds & meals when I'm not up to it. She would love to help more, but I often find it impossible to accept her well intentioned offer of a hand or a gentle shove to get me moving again when I freeze; preferring, instead, to struggle thru & do it myself or sometimes it's even easier to accept help from a friend rather than from my mom. I suppose that it is all mixed up with roles (I should be helping her instead of her helping me) & with how painful it is for me to have to watch her watch me. I have, I'm afraid left her struggling for a simple explanation that I just can't get out because of my drooling or ineptitude with the spoken words anymore. I'm sure that I've caused her more heartache by shutting her out rather than by allowing her to witness how bad it can get, at times. And, it seems that it is easier to be stoic when I must do for myself than to relax my guard & fall into those gentle, caring eyes & just let mommy take care of it-just like she did when I was little; sometimes, I think that would be the easiest thing in the world to do...but in reality, I know that I'm 47 years old with kids of my own that I must be strong for. -Joan Snyder (47/10/8) <[log in to unmask]> "Do or do not. There is no try." Yoda http://www.newcountry.nu/pd/members/snyder/page1.htm