Hi Joan, I agree with you, it is hard to be around my mom when things are bad for me. I know it hurts her to see me this way. She has said it would be easier if it happened to her. When I freeze I want to get out of it by myself. It is hard on my daughter who is still at home for another year. She is blind, and when I fall is scares her. She says what if you get hurt, I tell her then I get hurt, and get up and go on. I am good at catching myself. Janice 51/6/1.25 -----Original Message----- From: Stan or Joan Snyder <[log in to unmask]> To: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN <[log in to unmask]> Date: Friday, November 13, 1998 5:40 AM Subject: Adult Children of PWP >Hello again: This train of thought has been on my mind constantly since >the discussion started. My situation is somewhat the reverse of what >adult children of PWP are dealing with, but I think that my experiences >will perhaps shed some light on why you can't seem to "connect" with >your parents. My mother lives with us & she is a saint by every >definition of the word; she folds laundry, makes beds & meals when I'm >not up to it. She would love to help more, but I often find it >impossible to accept her well intentioned offer of a hand or a gentle >shove to get me moving again when I freeze; preferring, instead, to >struggle thru & do it myself or sometimes it's even easier to accept >help from a friend rather than from my mom. I suppose that it is all >mixed up with roles (I should be helping her instead of her helping me) >& with how painful it is for me to have to watch her watch me. >I have, I'm afraid left her struggling for a simple explanation that I >just can't get out because of my drooling or ineptitude with the spoken >words anymore. I'm sure that I've caused her more heartache by shutting >her out rather than by allowing her to witness how bad it can get, at >times. And, it seems that it is easier to be stoic when I must do for >myself than to relax my guard & fall into those gentle, caring eyes & >just let mommy take care of it-just like she did when I was little; >sometimes, I think that would be the easiest thing in the world to >do...but in reality, I know that I'm 47 years old with kids of my own >that I must be strong for. >-Joan Snyder (47/10/8) <[log in to unmask]> >"Do or do not. There is no try." Yoda >http://www.newcountry.nu/pd/members/snyder/page1.htm >