You'll have try harder if you want to insult me. I find the following
funny - hope you do too.
Lanny
Subject: CHURCH BULLETINS
ACTUAL ANNOUNCEMENTS
TAKEN FROM CHURCH BULLETINS
1. Don't let worry kill you. Let the church help.
2. Thursday night potluck supper with prayer and medication to
follow.
3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and
community.
4. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
nursery downstairs.
5. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth
of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
6. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north
ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
7. Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies
giving milk will please come early.
8. Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones
will sing "Put Me In My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.
9. Thursday at 5 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers
Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the
minister in his private study.
10. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come
forward and lay an egg on the altar.
11. The service will close with "Little Drops Of Water". One of the
ladies will start (quietly) and the rest of the congregation
will join in.
12. Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the
cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on
the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.
13. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind
and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
14. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church
hall. Music will follow.
15. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What
is Hell?". Come early and listen to our choir practice.
16. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian
Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
17. The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
18. Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church
secretary.
19. 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of
several new members and to the deterioration of some older
ones.
20. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
21. The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who
enjoys sinning to join the choir.
22. Please join us as we show out support for Amy and Alan who is
preparing for the girth of their first child.
23. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
24. The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed
potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a
nominal feel.
25. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing
campaign slogan last Sunday: "I upped my pledge. Up yours."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nita Andres wrote:
>
> That joke was funny, and not insulting. I am sure there are a number of
> jews on this list, including me. I laughed a lot and doubt that anyone
> was insulted. There has been too much fussing on the list. The joke
> was a release from tension.
>
> Recently, what has started out as a serious post has been lambasted. Let
> us please stop. More jokes please. Any topic.
>
> Hilary, I know that you meant well, but most of us laugh at ourselves
> and are better off for it. This is an open country. Thank G-O.
>
> Nita
