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RE: My poem "A Tough Question". I'm glad you liked it. RE: Publishing it. I am presently working on a book with my great friend Lillian Dyck. We had a book/portfolio pulbished by a fellow in Texas. It combined some of our pieces of my poetry and Lillian's art. It came out quite impressive but at a cost of over $300 US! to print, it comes in a leather binder, has matted pieces ready for framing if desired. He doesn't feel it is marketable, we agree. Thus less than 20 have been produced. What we want is to put out a quality book, while keeping it affordable for Parkies and the general public. It will feature poems and pictures of the actual paintings from our exhibit. Did I mention our exhibit? Well, a few years ago Lil and I put together an exhibit of art and poetry we named "With Parkinson's, Dont order the soup" As the title implies there is some humour but it also takes an honst look at the devastating emotional aspects of the disease. From opening night on, our exhbit was successfull beyond out wildest dreams. It and we travelled to progressively larger and more prestigous galleries. We were featured in local and regional than provincial news features in both newsapers and tv. We were on Morningside CBC radio, Peter Gzowski hosted. Everywhere we went we were asked about a book. So we found a publisher but after several months artisicc differences caused a rift. Then the project was put on hold as I went through my seperation. We finally got it rolling again and were ready for the final draft from our writer of the narrative and I disagreed over copywright and that was that. So here we sit, with the finished product virtually completed but back to square one as far as a pubisher. FRUSTRATION, to have to reestablish the feasibility and the importance of the project to a whole new publisher, we are trying but it is difficult to find the right co. Our guests have lists of people saying how profoundly they were affected by our work, wanting to thank us, purchase a book. The first time, I was hugged by a man in tears saying our pieces on my attempted suicide and later return to faith had made him change his mind about ending his life; that hug was more of an achievement than any work I've ever done in my whole life. Wow, I've rambled on! For once the juices are flowing and the words pour out. From a simple thank you this has turned into me pouring out my heart. It's just I'm going through a tough time right now. I'm alone in a big city in a small group home, far from friends and family, battling to stay out of the hospital. Also having vowed to quit gambling as I am an addict, it is my second disease. It has left me ready to declare bankruptcy as my only umiliating alternative. I went public and appeared in the Victoria paper in a article about obsessive gambling that was picked and ran in places as far away as Toronto and my home town the Soo, Sault STe. Marie. Now the pressure... Now, I'm not sure I should send this, I just was touched by the response to Ivan's dilemma (been there, done that). My health is slipping, I'm not sure if its the flu or my meds need changing again. I can't get a second Pallidotomy or DBS and I am sosick of pills!! I am just realizing that I will likely be sick, poor and alone the rest of my life and my dream of leaving a legacy behind me, a book that wou