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Joan wrote: SNIPPED >Now, about parents-my mom, for instance...I deeply love & care about my >mommy! >She is my best friend & I couldn't do it without her. What my family >went thru with my dad & Alzheimer's actually made us all stronger in our >love for each other. The reasons that sometimes I find it hard to accept >her help are so very complex but I think that if I ever let myself drown >in her uncompromising, unquestioning love, I would be so content to >allow myself to being cared for that i would never try to do anything >for myself again. People ask me why I push myself to do as much as I do. >Is it because that I'm scared to death that if I stop I will never go >again? Love, j Of course you feel as you do. Dependency, which can be so crippling as well as so necessary at times, is very seductive. It's so tempting to lie back and be cherished---or taken care of in any way. Several years ago I had a broken ankle, and was in a cast for several weeks. It was so NICE and so EASY to let Peter wait on me hand and foot, rather than struggler up to use my crutches! I realized then why it was so hard for some of my clients (in counseling) to break out of an unhealthy dependency. This dilemma faces the CG every hour--when to help, when to stand back and bite one's lip and let the PWP do sloooowly and even painfully what has to be done. Some folks, like Don "flash" McKinley battle tooth and nail for every ounce of independence--others succumb to dependency when they may not need to. The balance is both necessary and hard to achieve, and different for each of us. being aware of all the emotions may make it easier to strike it right. > Camilla Flintermann, CG for Peter, 80/9 <[log in to unmask]> > > http://www.newcountry.nu/pd/members/camilla/one.htm My Home Page > > > * ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** * ***** ***** * > * >* > * Knowing when to insist, and when to let be, * > * is,perhaps, a lifetime learning experience * > * --Mary McCurry >* > * >* > * ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** * ***** ***** * >