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As most of you know, I was born and raised in Arkansas (a fact I hate to admit anymore). However, my three sons were born Texans and then we later moved to Kansas at the time they were in elementary school, so they never developed the accent their Dad and Mom have. As a result, in addition to all the engineer jokes, I gotta live with stuff like the following from them: HICKPHONICS Little Rock, Arkansas educators, after learning that Oakland, California educators have started classes teaching ethnic slang, have decided there is also a need to designate southern slang as a geographic language. Ergo, "Hickphonics" -- Here is a sampling from the new Arkansas Hickphonics dictionary now being compiled: 1.) HEIDI - noun. greeting. 2.) HIRE YEW - complete sentence. remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, hire yew?" 3.) BARD - verb. past tense of "to borrow". Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck." 4.) JAWJUH - noun. a state just north of Florida. Capital is Lanna. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck." 5.) BAMMER - noun. state just west of Jawjuh. Usage: "A tornader went thru bammer 'n left $20 million in improvements." 6.) MUNTS - noun. a calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and I ain't herd from him in munts." 7.) THANK - verb. ability to cognitively process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare." 8.) BARE - noun. an alcoholic beverage. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare." 9.) IGNERT - adjective. not smart. see "Arkansas native". Usage: "Some of those Bammer boys sure are ignert." 10.) RANCH - noun. a tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of my pickup truck that my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago." 11.) ALL - noun. a petroleum-based product. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck." 12.) FAR - noun. a conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in the pickup truck he bard, that thangs gonna catch far." 13.) TAR - noun. a rubber wheel. Usage: "I hope my brother from Jawjuh don' git a flat tar in my pickup truck." 14.) TARRED - adverb. Exhausted. Usage: "I just flew in from Lanna, and boy are my arms tarred." 15.) FARN - adjective. not from here. Usage: "I can't unnerstant a wurd he sed. He must be from sum farn cuntry." 16.) DID - adjective. not alive. Usage: "He ain't breathin.' Must be did." 17.) EAR - noun. a colorless gas (except in LA.) Usage: "I'm gonna go outside fer some fresh ear!" 18.) BOB WAR - noun. a sharp twisted cable. Usage: "Stay away from that bob war fence." 19.) JEW HERE - noun and verb contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence company?" 20.) HAZE - a contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart? Nah, haze ignert. 21.) SEED - verb. past tense of see. 22.) VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun. Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City...view?" 23.) GUMMIT - noun. a bureaucratic state or federal institution. Usage: "them gummit boys sure are ignert."