 |
 |
Journey to Wellness When diagnosed with Parkinson's I vowed to fight it every inch despite all I read incurable, progressive all the medical horror stories doctors told me (for my own good) even the atrocities I saw inflicted on some victims I stubbornly insisted it would not conquer me I would be the exception not only that, this was my fight and I didn't need any help from anyone... eight years later the realization I gravely underestimated it I had fought exhausting battles claiming occasional small victories in an endless war, I could not win instead of retreating, gradually, gracefully I sallied forth on attack a medical General Custer surrounded outnumbered increasingly humiliating defeats my pride decimated I cried out for help too late the disease had a stronghold within me a malevolent, cancer-like presence it delighted in my despair laughed at my tears my bitter disappointments, its greatest triumphs shrewd and calculating cunningly persuasive it turned my body against me clouded my mind with morbid thoughts arrogantly patient, knowing time was on its side my pain gave it sadistic joy it liked me to be afraid of the all too real physical pain but much worse right from the start this uninvited guest looked into my heart to see what I dreaded the most so it could make it happen and discover what I loved best so it could take it away armed with that knowledge it tortured me for years I tried to reason with it threatened cajoled begged bargained but it is a formless darkness driven by unreasoning hatred it knows no mercy or pity two years ago, it was nearly triumphant I surrendered, tried to take my own life I had no faith in myself or God but He hadn't given up on me he provided both a second chance and the blessing of a new friend who taught me that you only lose when you give up you never lose when you reach out to help others if they turn away it is their loss when you connect, you both win armed with that knowledge I started my journey back to wellness I may never beat this terrible disease but it can only make my life hell if I let it Bill Harrington