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Hilary... You're a unique and lovely person, who is very much yourself. The disease COLORS your life, but isn't YOU. I don't see you as having lost yourself in Parkinson's. You haven't buried yourself in it, haven't thrown in the towel. Rather, you appear to recognize it for being like a parasite or an adversary within your brain looking for a free ride. I see you as a true heroine and an inspiration for continuing to fight against the disease instead of just giving up! Sending a full-of-love hug... Barb Mallut [log in to unmask] -----Original Message----- From: Hilary Blue <[log in to unmask]> To: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN <[log in to unmask]> Date: Saturday, November 21, 1998 3:07 PM Subject: Re: The disease is you; you are the disease. >Hilary Blue wrote: >> >> "The disease is you; you are the disease." >> >> Thus sayeth Jane Amy Blue, only six weeks since she left her home to live in >> a group home under the guardianship of the foster care department. She no >> longer speaks English; rather a sort of Psych 101, that is, on the rare >> occasions that she actually talks to me. When I queried her therapist as to >> where Jane Amy got this new philosophy from, I was told "she is an >> intelligent child. She can think for herself". but that must have come up as >> a response to therapy. After all, why did they take her away from me if >> they didn't believe something like that themselves. >> Can't they see I'm a human being. That I think, and read, and play the piano, >> and cook, and sometimes even wash dishes. Can a disease do all those things? >> No, I protest most vigorously. How can my child Believe that of me. Does she >> really see me only in that way - as an embodiment of Parkinson's Disease? Who >> taught her to sew, and to knit, and to sing, and to love music. Who gave her >> her love of books, put her to bed at night, held her tight when she cried in >> her sleep, put on a bandage when she scraped her knee, helped her with her >> homework, listened to her practise her part in the play.... >> No, it wasn't Parkinson's, it was I , the me that is real, the me that exists >> inside of, and outside of the disease. The me that loves her and wants her >> home with me, the me that keeps me going when my legs wobble, and my feet are >> stuck to the ground, the me who has to go to court on Monday and smile >> sweetly, while others determine whether my children will eventually come home >> to live with me, the me who has to persuade that judge, that I am ME, and NOT >> a disease !!! >> >> Hilary Blue (49,25,16) >