These have been around a while but are still good for a laugh.
THE BEST OF THE WORST COUNTRY-WESTERN SONG TITLES
(Yes, these are REAL)
1. Drop Kick, Me, Jesus, Through the Goalposts of Life.
2. Get Your Biscuits In the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed
4. Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure.
5. How Can I Miss You if you Won't Go Away?
6. How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've
Been A Liar All My Life?
8. I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life.
9. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself or Go Bowling.
10. I Fell in a Pile of You and Got Love All Over Me.
12. I Keep Forgettin; I Forgot About You.
14. I Would Have Wrote You a Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
15. I Wouldn't Take Her to the Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win.
16. I'd rather have a Bottle in front of me than a Frontal Lobotomy.
17. I'm just a bug on the windshield of life.
18. I'm the only hell mama ever raised.
19. I've been flushed from the bathroom of your heart.
20. I've got the hungries for your love and I'm waiting in your
welfare line.
22. If love were oil, I'd be a quart low.
23. If my nose were full of nickels, I'd blow it all on you.
24. If you don't leave me alone, I'll go find someone else who will.
25. If you leave me, can I come too?
26. Mama get the hammer (There's a fly on Papa's head.)
27. My every day silver is plastic.
29. My John Deere was breaking your field, While your Deer John was
breaking my heart.
30. My Wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
31. Oh, I've got hair oil on my ears and my glasses are slipping down,
but baby I can see through you.
33. She got the gold mine and I got the shaft.
34. She got the ring and I got the finger.
35. She made toothpicks out of the timber of my heart.
36. She's got freckles on her, but she's pretty.
37. Thank God and Greyhound she's gone.
38. They may put me in prison, but they can't stop my face from
breaking out.
39. Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart.
40. When you leave, walk out backwards, so I'll think you're walkin'
in.
41. You can't have your Kate and Edith too.
42. You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd.
43. You done tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.
44. You were only a splinter as I slid down the bannister of life.
45. You're the reason our kids are so ugly.
That's all, folks
