You don't have to go to Hicksville to find obscure country and western titles
for a good laugh - try translating opera lyrics.... My personal favourites are:
She was a miller's daughter fair,
He was the local postman there
and (from "The Bat"* by Strauss)
My dear marquis,
You surely will agree
To look before you leap!
*Der Fledermaus
Hilary Blue
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Ben McKeen wrote:
>
> These have been around a while but are still good for a laugh.
>
> THE BEST OF THE WORST COUNTRY-WESTERN SONG TITLES
> (Yes, these are REAL)
>
> 1. Drop Kick, Me, Jesus, Through the Goalposts of Life.
> 2. Get Your Biscuits In the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed
> 4. Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure.
> 5. How Can I Miss You if you Won't Go Away?
> 6. How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've
> Been A Liar All My Life?
> 8. I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life.
> 9. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself or Go Bowling.
> 10. I Fell in a Pile of You and Got Love All Over Me.
> 12. I Keep Forgettin; I Forgot About You.
> 14. I Would Have Wrote You a Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
> 15. I Wouldn't Take Her to the Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win.
> 16. I'd rather have a Bottle in front of me than a Frontal Lobotomy.
> 17. I'm just a bug on the windshield of life.
> 18. I'm the only hell mama ever raised.
> 19. I've been flushed from the bathroom of your heart.
> 20. I've got the hungries for your love and I'm waiting in your
> welfare line.
> 22. If love were oil, I'd be a quart low.
> 23. If my nose were full of nickels, I'd blow it all on you.
> 24. If you don't leave me alone, I'll go find someone else who will.
> 25. If you leave me, can I come too?
> 26. Mama get the hammer (There's a fly on Papa's head.)
> 27. My every day silver is plastic.
> 29. My John Deere was breaking your field, While your Deer John was
> breaking my heart.
> 30. My Wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
> 31. Oh, I've got hair oil on my ears and my glasses are slipping down,
> but baby I can see through you.
> 33. She got the gold mine and I got the shaft.
> 34. She got the ring and I got the finger.
> 35. She made toothpicks out of the timber of my heart.
> 36. She's got freckles on her, but she's pretty.
> 37. Thank God and Greyhound she's gone.
> 38. They may put me in prison, but they can't stop my face from
> breaking out.
> 39. Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart.
> 40. When you leave, walk out backwards, so I'll think you're walkin'
> in.
> 41. You can't have your Kate and Edith too.
> 42. You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd.
> 43. You done tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.
> 44. You were only a splinter as I slid down the bannister of life.
> 45. You're the reason our kids are so ugly.
>
> That's all, folks
