This article appeared on the bottom of the first page of the Metropolitan
section of the Dallas Morning News for Sunday, 29 November, 1998. You
can also access it at
http://www.dallasnews.com/metro-dfw-nf/dfw503.htm
but I copied it here for benefit of those without a browser.
Dallas-Fort Worth news
Ailing judge says faith
sustains him
After recent re-election, Hartman
speaks candidly about life with
Parkinson's
11/29/98
By Ed Housewright / The Dallas Morning
News
Re-election always has been a snap for
State
District Judge Merrill Hartman.
He hasn't faced an opponent since he
joined the
bench 14 years ago.
Winning again this month was especially
sweet
because he overcame gossip about his
health that
was fueled by his worsening tremor,
obvious
stiffness and sometimes blank expression.
Judge Hartman, who opened the first
legal clinic in
South Dallas and has a volunteer
service award
named after him, suffers from
Parkinson's disease.
And he can no longer hide it.
When some began saying that the
Republican civil
judge perhaps wasn't fit for another
four-year term,
lawyer friends spoke out on his behalf and
circulated a neurologist's letter that
said Judge
Hartman's mental condition was
unaffected. They
pointed out that many prominent people,
including
U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno, have
Parkinson's, a degenerative disease
characterized
by muscular rigidity and tremors.
"I didn't want to lose a good judge to
somebody's
scare tactics," said Frank Finn, the
lawyer who
organized the effort. "That's what I
saw coming.
His physical condition has nothing to
do with his
mental alacrity, fairness or
impartiality."
Judge Hartman, 59, speaks candidly
about the
unwanted changes the neurological
disorder has
brought to his life. The judge, a
deeply religious
man who teaches Sunday school, said it has
strengthened his faith by making him face
weakness.
"I have experienced now what it means
to have no
control," he said. "Parkinson's is
surprisingly
limiting. You're surprised you can't do
all the things
you used to do, and that your body is
doing some
things you don't want it to do.
"This has helped me sense my own
powerlessness
over life. I think it's given me an
insight and
empathy into other people's situations."
His most noticeable symptom is a
pronounced
tremor in his right hand that comes and
goes
unpredictably. Sometimes, he spills a
glass of
water. If he's driving and the shaking
begins, he has
to steer with his left hand.
Judge Hartman was diagnosed with
Parkinson's
two years ago when he was otherwise
healthy. He
had to give up his hobby of playing the
drums. He
has still been able to pursue his main
avocation -
photography. He has photos of his
family and the
outdoors throughout his Lake Highlands
home.
During an interview, the tremors began
and then
stopped, over and over.
"It's cooking now," he said at one
point when his
right hand started quivering.
Judge Hartman gives frequent speeches,
and the
shaking is distracting, he said.
"It's like somebody pulling on my
sleeve when I'm
trying to talk, or somebody going psst
in my ear
when I'm trying to express a thought,"
he said. "I
can concentrate better if I don't have
to constantly
look over there and wonder if it's
going to shake
off my body.
"I'm thinking, is this as distracting
to others as it is
to me? It's like somebody waving at
you. Are you
looking at their arm waving so much
that you're not
concentrating on what they're saying?"
The judge has other symptoms besides
the tremor.
For instance, he now walks slowly,
taking small
steps. When he stands, he's sometimes
stiff and off
balance.
"My aunt in South Carolina, who I
hadn't seen in a
long time, said I looked like a little
old man
walking," he said. "When she saw me
coming up
the drive, she said I looked like I had
aged 20 or
30 years."
Parkinson's also has softened his
voice, making it
harder for him to be heard. That's
ironic, he said,
because he's a former Justice Department
prosecutor and assistant U.S. attorney
who had a
booming courtroom voice.
In addition, the disease has flattened
his facial
expressions.
"I'll be less responsive to what people
are telling
me," he said. "They'll come in and
smile and tell me
something and expect a response. They
don't see
one, and they're thinking, 'What's he
mad about?' "
Judge Hartman takes a daily handful of
pills to
reduce his symptoms. Often, his doctor
adjusts his
medication or switches drugs to try to
improve his
condition. There's no cure for
Parkinson's, which
afflicts more than half a million
mostly older
Americans.
"I've been fortunate that there are new
good
medications out that relieve a lot of
the symptoms,"
the judge said. "I continue to hope
medication will
get better and better."
Surgery is an option for some
Parkinson's patients.
A probe is inserted into the brain to
destroy the
portion that causes tremors. Actor
Michael J. Fox
announced last week that he has
Parkinson's and
has had such surgery.
"If it wasn't brain surgery, it would
be a lot more
attractive," Judge Hartman said. "I
would consider
it if the tremor becomes so distracting
that I can't
concentrate or do ordinary things."
Judge Hartman, a former college swimmer
who
rode motorcycles until he became a
judge, doesn't
dwell on his condition. He continues to
lift weights
regularly and walk three miles a day.
"Once I got clear that I had a movement
disorder
of some kind, I started processing what
it meant
almost immediately," he said. "I did
not want to
wallow in self-pity and did not want my
life to be
about my disease. I wanted to be a
person doing
what I was supposed to be doing, who
also has
Parkinson's."
He said he doesn't ponder how much his
condition
may worsen. He still would like to be a
judge until
he reaches the mandatory retirement age
of 75.
Parkinson's doesn't affect life
expectancy.
"I could get hit by a truck or drop
dead of a heart
attack," Judge Hartman said. "To get
worried, you
have to come up with a forecast first.
I don't know
that I'm going to live a long time. I
don't know that
I'm going to have a debilitating disease.
"Worry is just something you do to take
you out of
the game. I take it a day at a time,"
he said. "I'm
just happy to be here and have all the
blessings I've
got."
His wife, Sally, has been extremely
supportive, he
said. They met in the fifth grade at
University Park
Elementary School and have been married
for 38
years. They have three adult children,
including a
daughter who is a local lawyer.
"He's handled it with dignity and
grace," Mrs.
Hartman said of the disorder. "He's a
man at
peace. He's really enjoyed the
outpouring of love
from all his friends and all the many
people he's
helped over the years. All those people
seem to be
thrilled that maybe they can do
something for him
now."
He hasn't lost his sense of humor, she
said.
"We still laugh a lot," Mrs. Hartman
said. "We even
laugh about the tremor or how slow he
is. I think
for all of us, the initial reaction was
'This is just not
fair. He's such a good man, and why do
bad things
happen to good people?'
"But I think we've come to see that he
isn't afraid
and doesn't pity himself, so no one
else should pity
him either."
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