THis is what I meant to post lasttime
Parkinson's, a disease of fear
Lately, I've been thinking about fear
living in fear, with fear
he and I have become well acquainted
not friends, definitely not that
he is like my shadow
even when invisible he is not far away
he joins me for breakfast and midnight snacks
he especially enjoys our intimate time alone
when he has my undivided attention
I carry him about with me
he is extremely heavy
constantly asking me, What if?
when I first open my eyes in the morning
he clamors for immediate attention
what if I can't move?
what if I forgot to put my pills and water by my bed?
or the cat knocked them on the floor?
mornings and late nights are his prime times
but he pops up throughout the day
particularly during my bad periods
what if I can't feed myself?
or get stuck in the shower or hot tub?
if I do manage to get through my morning
and am contemplating going out
he whispers, I don't know
remember what happened last time
when I listen to him long enough
he brings on an anxiety attack
where my heart pounds, I feel nauseous
break out in a cold sweat
occasionally, I can successfully ignore him
for a short time
usually when I am at my infrequent best
who ever said "we have nothing to fear
but fear itself" has never lived with Parkinson's
I find almost anything can make me fearful
what I fear most
is when it is my constant companion
Bill Harrington
There are no simple solutions, omly intelligent choices.
({:O})
Bill Harrington
