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How do you get a gleam in a blondes eye? Shine a flashlight in her ear. Leta ---Ben McKeen <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > > OK, Darwin, you asked for it......... > > A POLICE REPORT > A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've > stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the > accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could > start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. > "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake." > ================= > > THE BLONDE STEWARDESS > > An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde > stewardess; the route they were flying had a stay-over in another > city. > Upon their arrival the captain showed the stewardess the best place > for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next > morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he > noticed the new stewardess was missing. > He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up > wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, > and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your > room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied: "There > are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one > is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says "Do Not Disturb'! > =================== > > THE JOB INTERVIEW > > A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all tried out for the same job as > road stripers. The boss told them they would all work for three days > and whoever painted the most would get the job. > At the end of the first day, the redhead had painted 3 miles, the > brunette had painted 2.5 miles, and the blond had painted 10 miles . > The boss was so excited he told the blonde to keep it up and the job > was hers. > The next day the red head painted 5 miles, the brunette 5.6 miles, > and > the blonde 4 miles. He told the blonde not to worry you still have a > good lead. > So, on the third day the redhead had painted 6 miles, the brunette 5 > miles, and the blonde only one mile. The boss was so disappointed, > he asked the blonde, "What went wrong, you were doing so good?" She > said, "Well, that bucket of paint keeps getting further and further > away." > ============== > A blonde woman walks into a store. Curious about a shiny object, > she asks, "What is that?" > > The store clerk responds, "It's a thermos." > The blonde then asks, "What does it do?" > The clerk says "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." > So she buys one. > > The next day, she brings it to work with her. Her boss, also a > blonde, asks, "What is that shiny object?" > > She replies "It's a thermos." > He asks, "What does it do?" > She says, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." > He then asks, "What do you have in there?" > > "Two cups of coffee and a popsicle." > > > ---------------------- > BLONDES! > > That Girl was so Blonde : > > She sent me a Fax with a stamp on it > > She thought a quarterback was a refund > > She tried to put M & M's in alphabetical order > > She tripped over a cordless phone > > She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make > up her mind > > She told me to meet her at the corner of " Walk and Don't walk " > > They had to burn the school-house down to get her out of third > grade > > She took a ruler to bed with her to see how long she slept > > At the bottom of the application where it says " sign here " she > put Sagittarius > > When she heard that 90 % of all crimes occur around the home- > she moved > > When she took me to the airport and saw the sign that said > " Airport Left " she turned around and went home > > Hear about the Blonde that bought an A M Radio ? It took her a > month to realize she could play it at night > > Why do Blondes like lightning ? They think someone is taking > their picture . > > Why did the Blonde scale the chain-link fence ? To see what > was on the other side > > How do you get a Blonde to laugh at a joke on Saturday ? > Tell her the joke on Wednesday > > ------------------------------ > > Ben McKeen > > That's all folks > _________________________________________________________ DO YOU YAHOO!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com