hi len and hilary
At 12:21 1998/12/05 -0800, you wrote:
>Dear List Friends,
>We're appalled at the lack of compassion and quick, negative
>judgments shown by a number of members on this list. Who are
>we to sit in judgment of Michael J. Fox? We tell the world
>that each case of Parkinsons is unique. We, more than other
>people, should understand this. Each of us faces this challenge
>in our own way, in our own time. Together we have the power to
>do much good, but not when we undermine one another. We support
>the thoughtful and informed sharing of opinions, but let's do so
>with our hearts open. If we thought that Michael J. Fox and his
>wife were reading this list, we'd be embarrassed to be on it.
>Does anyone else feel this way? Len (62/4) and Hilary Zunin
it seems that you are upset by some of
the other listmembers' reactions to the mjf situation?
i don't mean to sound condescending or anything negative at all;
i am just seeking clarity...
there have been many different opinions voiced here
in response to mjf-et-al
are we not each of us individuals
entitled to express our own opinions?
even though they may not agree with yours or mine?
this 'casting the first stone' issue
resembles the old 'chicken/egg' riddle/paradox:
who are the 'others' to sit in judgment of mjf?
who are you to sit in judgment of 'others'
who am i to sit in judgment of you?
when [not if] 'others' express opinions different than mine
i do not have to react in anger [=fear?]
their opinion does nothing to invalidate mine
my opinion does nothing to invalidate theirs
the opinions of 'others'
although radically different than mine
have roots and sources which are very similar to mine
we are all,
each one of us,
unique products of
our own unique experiences and outlook and skills
>...we tell the world that each case of parkinson's is unique.
>We, more than other people, should understand this. Each of
>us faces this challenge in our own way, in our own time...
this is exactly my point!
those 'others' are reacting to the present circumstances
based on their own unique experiences to date
and with the skills that they have developed to date
and within their 'own comfort-time-frame'
no one has the right to tell me
i 'should' or 'shouldn't' be doing/saying/thinking/smelling something
i do not have the right to tell anyone else
they 'should' or 'shouldn't' be doing/saying/thinking/smelling something
>Together we have the power to do much good,
>but not when we undermine one another.
are you not 'undermining' others
when you criticize them for their 'lack of compassion'?
is that not your own judgment on their behaviour?
>We support the thoughtful and informed sharing
>of opinions, but let's do so with our hearts open.
if you suggest that 'your way' of expression is the best way
have you not closed your heart to 'others'?
>If we thought that Michael J. Fox and his wife were
>reading this list, we'd be embarrassed to be on it.
why?
does their opinion matter more than yours?
or the 'others'?
or mine?
flashback:
'family atmosphere' posted in july 97
i'm glad that our sibling ron
felt safe enough with us to express his frustration
this isn't a public forum
it's a group of people
brought together by an uncommon condition
which is progressive, incurable, and degenerative
we are not the average joe or jane on the street
we and the people we care about
have been through and are still going through
a test by fire
at times we need to share what we are really feeling
because this may be our only outlet
this may be the only group we have access to
who might understand
being a family doesn't mean 'happy days'
being a family doesn't necessarily mean being 'polite'
being a family doesn't mean we're 'on the prowl' or 'lookin fer luv'
it means facing ups and downs together for the long haul
knowing that we can just be us, no act, no pretense
knowing we're not alone
and if that's not a miracle
i'll eat my hat
envy anger etc
are 'deadly sins'
not because of how we appear to others
but because of how we appear to ourselves
compassion begins at home
janet
janet paterson - 51 now /41 dx /37 onset - almonte/ontario/canada
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