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> Intellect On Parade > > Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? > Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not > live forever, because if we were supposed to > live forever, then we would live forever, but > we cannot live forever, which is why I would > not live forever." > *Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest > > "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest > crime rates in the country." > *Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC > > "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my > body." > *Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward > > "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all > over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to > be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death > and stuff." > *Mariah Carey Pop singer > > "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our > papers. We are the president." > *Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed > documents > > "The police are not here to create disorder. They're here > to preserve disorder." > *Former Chicago mayor Daley during the infamous 1968 > Democratic Party convention > > "China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese." > *Former French President Charles de Gaulle > > "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply > with the law." > *David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations > that he failed to pay his taxes. > > "The Internet is a great way to get on the Net." > *Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole > > "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from > overseas." > *Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery > > "We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees." > *Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks > > "Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some > of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana... The > researchers also discovered other similarities between the > two, but can't remember what they are." > *Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22 > > "It's like an alcatraz around my > neck." > *Boston Mayor Menino on the shortage of city parking spaces > > "Half this game is ninety percent mental." > *Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark > > "They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, > but they take them off." > *Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company > charged the Air Force nearly $1,000 for an ordinary pair > of pliers > > "The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people > who make them unsafe." > *Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia > > "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important > part of your life." > *Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson > for a federal anti-smoking campaign > > "After finding no qualified candidates for the position of > principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce > the appointment of David Steele to the post." > *Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, > Rhode Island > > "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a > jackass, and I'm just the one to do it." > *A congressional candidate in Texas