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<< > 'Twas the night before Christmas > And all through the trailer > Not a creature was stirrin' > 'Cept a redneck named Taylor. > > His first name was Bubba, > Joe was his middle, > And a-runnin' down his chin > Was a trickle of spittle. > > His socks, they were hung > by the chimney with care, > And therefore there was > a foul stench in the air. > > From out in the yard > There came such a noise > That Bubba got scared > And rousted the boys. > > There was Rufus, 12; > Jim Bob was 11; > Dud goin' on 10; > Otis was 7. > > John, George and Chucky > Were 5,4, and 3: > The twins were both girls > So they let them be. > > They jumped in their overalls, > No need for a shirt, > Threw a hat on each head, > Then turned with a jerk. > > They ran to the gun rack > That hung on the wall. > There were 17 shotguns; > They grabbed them all. > > Bubba said to the young'uns, > "Now hesh up ya'll! > The last thing we wanna do > Is wake up yer Maw." > > Maw was expecting > And needed her sleep, > So out they crept out the door > Without making a peep. > > They all looked around, > and then they all spit. > The young'uns asked Bubba, > "Paw, what is it?" > > Bubba just stared; > He could not say a word. > This was just like all of > The stories he'd heard. > > It was Santy Claus on the roof, > Darn tootin' > But the boys didn't know; > They was about to start shootin'! > > They aimed their shotguns > and nearly made a mistake > That would have resulted > in venison steak. > > Bubba hollered out, > "Don't shoot, boys!" > That's Santy Claus > And he's brought us some toys. > > The dogs were a-barkin' > And a-raisin' cain, > And Bubba whistled, and shouted, > And called them by name. > > "Down, Spot! Shut up Bullet! > Quiet, Pete and Roscoe! > Git, Turnip and Tater > and Sam and old Joe!" > > "Git down from that porch! > Git down off that wall! > Quit shakin the trailer, > Or you'll make Santy fall!" > > The dogs kept a-barkin' > And wouldn't shut up, > And they trampled poor Pete > Who was only a pup. > > Santy opened his bag, > And threw out some toys. > Bubba got most, > But left a few for the boys. > > From up on the roof > Santa heaved a great sigh. > Since the guns had been dropped > He just might not die. > > He jumped in his sleigh, > Told his reindeer to hurry. > The trailer started to wobble > Santa started to worry. > > Just as the reindeer > Got into the air, > The trailer collapsed, > But Bubba didn't care. > > He was busy lookin' > At all his new toys. > Then a thought hit him, > And he said to the boys: > > "Go check on yer Maw, > Make sure she's all right. > That roof fallin' on her > Could-a hurt just a might." > > But Maw was OK, > And the girls were too. > They fixed up the trailer; > It looked good as new. > > And as for Bubba, > He liked Old St. Nick, > But Santa thought Bubba > Was a pure-in-tee hick! > > Bubba had a nice Christmas, > And the boys did, too. > And the Taylors wish > A Merry Christmas to you! >>