Dear listfriends,
I truly hate to write this to you. I have been doing everything I can
think of. I can't avoid telling you that there's been no solution---I am
approaching a real crisis NOW. There is a hopeful message from Jay- but
no luck since then. PLEASE read his message-it is quoted exactly,
towards the end of this message.
. I am in a state varying between anxious to the point of cold sweats,
and slowly, slowly doing things. I am overtired, a little woozy, and
pretending everything is OK. A special Parkinsonian pseudo-calmness, as
if this house has its own, slower rhythm than the surrounding world, has
settled in. That is a good thing, but then the undone things PILE UP.
I REALLY want to help others more, but at this time, my needs HAVE to be
met, before I can continue. An overnight personal care attendant MUST be
found, or I will be off the list, and stuck in a home somewhere....or
hospitalized...and in even bigger trouble trying to get back here.
My many friends and I have simply not found any able-bodied (
preferably male ) live-in OVERNIGHT personal care attendant. Same- gender
help, for details like shaving, certain intimate aspects of washing,
dressing, etc, not known to women, really is the best solution(sorry,
ladies, there's just too much explainin' and too little time!!)
My minority group status (Most of you know- I just happen to be a
person who is "gay" --I am quietly open about this) also limits possible
choices. A caregiver has to be willing to understand you, or better
yet, he does, because he is just like you.
Would those on the list who really can assist me to get into
communication face-to-face with Jay, or who know someone else who is
willing to get involved (Drive?) (Make a Call?), (Travel with me or with
Jay) PLEASE contact me ? Please call me 207 797 8488. Are any of the gay
men available (there are at least 9 of you who have written me
privately.)?
I am too tired to explain......everything, except to say that on Tuesday
a t 7:30 PM he called. His worried message said , exactly,
"Hi Ivan! (his voice sounding hopeful).
This is Jay. I'm sorry I missed you!
I've been so busy. I just got out of work.
It's Tuesday night at 7:30, and I'll, I'll call you as soon as I
can.
I hope everything is all right.
I'll talk to you later. Bye." (his voice sounding very worried
and trailing off)
The message is saved on the answering tape here, and each word is clear.
If you called my house, i can play it over the speaker phone to you, and
you can hear every word.
. No word from Jay since. A friend tried to call him for me. The
phone at the residence he's been staying at for 12 weeks has been
disconnected, and is now "unpublished".
Janice, who came to me looking for work four weeks ago homeless, fell
yesterday on the ice near her full-time, temporary post-office job.She
was walking out in front of a car wash place, on a busy main road full of
traffic, and fell on the slick ice where the wet cars drive away out of
the big machines. She arrived yesterday an hour overdue, injured. Both
wrists are swelling and an ankle is weak. I made ice packs for her last
night. She really is injured, and also, Janice needs to get an apartment
now, and establish a home for her children and herself, now that she has
money coming in from two jobs.
I desperately need help at night. I am too uncertain to add anything
more. Camilla asked me to stay connected, and I'm trying my best to do
that.. Steve Schwartz in New Jersey also has been trying to help me
figure out what to do. I hope this is all right to ask for help today. I
don't want to upset your holiday plans , people. PLease forgive me if the
timing is uncomfortable in some way.
Uneasy,
Ivan Suzman (49/39/36)
Portland, Maine USA :-)
207 797 8488
