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hi lisa At 05:23 1999/01/06 -0500, you wrote: >DEAR list folk, >I sit here at the computer at 4;30 am barely able to type >because of my left side shaking so. It seems like my >symptoms have progressed in the last month or two. pd usually doesn't progress that quickly i believe that it tends to slide up, [sort of sneaky-like] so my first reaction to your comment is: what changed 4 or 8 weeks ago? meds? diet? lifestyle? supplements? menstrual/hormonal? when were you under better control? what meds were you taking then? >It sucks, to watch my physical condition worsen, I am 40 years old, >I am in excellent physical condition other wise, the shaking (in the >morning) doesn't stop for at least 2-3 hours after I take my meds >(1 sinemt 25/100cr & 2 permax .25 & eldepryl) at awakening. then >it seems like it lasts for an hour (the on time) and it's time >to take more drugs, hopefully in time so they kick in before the >next bout with pd. i'm a bit at a loss here in terms of the details of the fine-tuning that we all need to concentrate more and more on - your pd is the 'tremor' type and mine is the 'stiffness' type and i believe that the med approach tends to be different for each type [somebody correct me if i'm off-track here] >it really sucks sometime, I try to keep a positive attitude, my >friends are great. my boyfriend is wonderful. but how do we keep >our shit together in times like this, yesterday was rough, today >so far (it's 5;15 am) is not good, I sit here typing and cant >control my body. one of the catch-22's with pd is that its symptoms are exacerbated by our emotions which can work itself into a frustrating 'vicious circle' especially if we 'try' to hide our symptoms or suppress them >I can't be a rock all the time of course not you are a human bean, you are entitled to be un-rock-like >I cant let loose my emotions on to my friends cuz they dont know how to >respond (how can they) and it is hard on them cuz they feel helpless. yup yup yup! and that's exactly why this bunch here on the net is so important - i know you'll get lots of support >I hate this disease and what it does to me! I WANT MY BODY BACK! >I dont have faith that any drugs are going to make it better, cuz >they dont, they just offer a different set of side effects. oh what >fun trying to figure out the exact chemical balance and timing that >will work (for an hour). I AM FRUSTRATED! I AM DEPRESSED! okay so be depressed and wail and cry and pound the walls and then when you're through remember you have been given a test it is custom-designed for you and only you to learn from sometimes the hardest part is figuring out just what it is that is to be learned but you wouldn't have been given it if you couldn't deal with it maybe you need to see another medico maybe you need to change your meds maybe you need to meditate maybe......? keep asking and you'll find the answer >I AM SORRY to dump this on you guys, but thank god your here >withlove and appreciation for this list >Lisa 40/6 St. john usvi i, for one, feel privileged in being a 'dumpee' feel free, anytime! much love janet janet paterson - 51 now /41 dx /37 onset - almonte/ontario/canada <http://www.newcountry.nu/pd/members/janet/index.htm> [log in to unmask]