 |
 |
DEAR list folk, I sit here at the computer at 4;30 am barely able to type because of my left side shaking so. It seems like my symptoms have progressed in the last month or two. It sucks, to watch my physical condition worsen, I am 40 years old, I am in excellent physical condition other wise, the shaking (in the morning) doesn't stop for at least 2-3 hours after I take my meds (1 sinemt 25/100cr & 2 permax .25 & eldepryl) at awakening. then it seems like it lasts for an hour (the on time) and it's time to take more drugs , hopefully in time so they kick in before the next bout with pd. it really sucks sometime, I try to keep a positive attitude, my friends are great. my boyfriend is wonderful. but how do we keep our shit together in times like this, yesterday was rough, today so far ( it's 5;15 am) is not good, I sit here typing and cant control my body, I cant be a rock all the time, I cant let loose my emotions on to my friends cuz they dont know how to respond (how can they) and it is hard on them cuz they feel helpless. I hate this disease and what it does to me! I WANT MY BODY BACK! I dont have faith that any drugs are going to make it better, cuz they dont, they just offer a different set of side effects. oh what fun trying to figure out the exact chemical balance and timing that will work (for an hour). I AM FRUSTRATED! I AM DEPRESSED! I AM SORRY to dump this on you guys, but thank god your here withlove and appreciation for this list Lisa 40/6 St. john usvi