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' Twas the week after Christmas, and all through the house Nothing > would fit me, not even a blouse. > The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste > At the holiday parties had gone to my waist. > > When I got on the scales there arose such a number! > When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber). > I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared; > The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared, > The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese And the way I'd > never said, "No thank you, please." > As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt And prepared once > again to do battle with dirt--- > I said to myself, as I only can > "You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!" > So-away with the last of the sour cream dip, > Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip > Every last bit of food that I like must be banished "Till all the > additional ounces have vanished. > I won't have a cookie-not even a lick. > I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick. > > I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie, I'll munch on a > carrot and quietly cry. > I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore--- > But isn't that what January is for? > Unable to giggle, no longer a riot. > Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet! > ___________________________________________________________ > >