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Dear Ivan: If the facts are as you say and I have no reason to doubt them, this is truly a travesty of justice. Somehow, we on the web will get to the bottom of this. I am too tired now to think clearly, but I hope when I log in tomorrow someone will have an idea. Hang in there! Bill At 02:53 AM 1/7/99 -0500, you wrote: >^^^^^^ WARM GREETINGS FROM ^^^^^^^^^^^^ :-) > Ivan Suzman 49/39/36 [log in to unmask] :-) > Portland, Maine land of lighthouses 21 deg. F :-) >******************************************************************** > >I really wonder why, after being personally asked >during a 45-minute phone call from WETA-TV, in December, >to rearrange my entire life so that I could be filmed >by the PBS Lehrer team, specifically, >soon after January 5th, > >(I have been going through HELL , trying to get >my PD-ravaged teeth repaired and reformed, >to smile the best PWP smile imaginable) > >that I read only second-hand, on our PD list, >but not directly from PBS, > that I will NOT be filmed !!! > >Due to budget constraints.??? What a pile of - - - - ! > >WAIT JUST A FRIGGIN' MINUTE! >What the HELL has happened???? > >I wonder if my identification as GAY >has reduced my struggle to find >GAY-friendly, GAY-experienced >and GAY-supportive "CG's" >to a sad lament, a buried footnote on >heterosexist PBS's pages about PWP's. > >My issues as a PWP who can no longer >live alone, who somehow manages to live on, >and who is not a slut, who will not take >anything in a bar that comes his way, >making me just like ANY single PWP, >except that, GAY PWP's are out-in=the=cold, > gone from the PBS progamming. > >I am not angry, I am FURIOUS >at being excluded by PBS. >ME? NOT camera-worthy?? >WHO started the TV-ready list, PBS??? >No, not Michael J. Fox, no, this GAY PWP did!! > >I am just as charming, and, although > >I don't have children, >I love children immensely. > >I am not in Hollywood, >but I do perform for 45 minutes to an hour, >on STAGE with the Maine Gay Mens' Chorus, >whose TUXEDO-ED performances are legendary. >I actually managed to do THREE shows in December. >I have a become more than a local hero. Phone our President, >Mark McDonald, and find out for yourself! > >After all, you all know how I capably >'bust my ass" to help ALL of us. > >If a PWP is not strictly heterosexual, >and if being "married" or "single" becomes i.d.-worthy, >although I, too, am alone,.and need companionship, >I begin to feel marginalized and unaccounted for. > >Perhaps one becomes a partial PWP, a P-PWP, >or maybe I should self-i.d. as a Q-PWP (q is for queeny), > >Partially-presentable under limited circumstances. >No matter how one contributes to overcoming PD. > >I try to be fully acceptable >in my own, 'different" way, >and know I am both GAY, >and PWP "family" like anyone else, > >even if I am a Matthew Shepard to some, >or a GAY pain in the derriere to several. > >I was made the way I am, >by a God and Goddess combined. >I am a special PWP, and I have gifts to share >with all of you PWP's, > >whether I feel sensitive, and sultry, >like the Shechina, >the Jewish Sabbath's god-queen, > >Or manly, masculine, bearded, and, >smelling strongly of Stetson after-shave, >feeling horny, like a "real" man, >and reminding you of Charlton Heston >in the desert heat of Khartoum!! > >I reflect at times a "special" >PWP make-up, combining a bit of Schweppes, >a tinted queenishness, >lilac leg-warmers, GAY apparel, > >leather and fantasy and, >a rose-colored stud in my left ear. > >Well the PBS people missed out >on a chance to kkkick around >this kkknowlegeable PWP's >ideas. I can go elsewhere >and be welcomed. > >You kkknow, folks, >I am a published SCIENTIST. >I have many hard hours of South African >and Minnesotan and Maine-iac >anatomy labs and editorial jobs >behind me. > >I really feel so excluded by >the wealthy white male straight ego-tripping >power structure that would like to make me >a queer. > >A faggot. > >I have been spat upon by a C.N.A. > >My pencilled sketch of an elm tree >at sunset in November >was defaced by crude >caricatures of copulating stick-figures. > >My GAY home was burned by arson in 1996. > >My kitty, Celie, was murderd in that fire. > >I am nonetheless, truly thrilled that >my PWP-sistah, Hilary Blue, >a thoughtful, caring and honest >friend, who as a Jewess, >understands what being a MINORITY >is all about, was filmed today!! > >Hilary has made a brilliant,brave >and unforgettable entrance, for all PWP's, >into the world of publicity, >and hopefully, a CURE for PD, >a world that our Californian friend, >Barb Malllut, and I have also pierced. > >But where does PBS leave me? >Life-line was installed today in my house. >A huge speaker with buttons was hooked up >this morning at 11 AM !!! > >I have visions of being taken to an early grave >just like Matthew Shepard in Wyoming. >because if a PWP is a GAY man, >you are more of a Queer >than a worthwhile Breeder. > >One of the boys at my favorite bar >put it very bluntly when he said > "Ivan, darlin', there will always > be queers and there will always > be niggahs" > >So, please people of the List, >WAKE UP! and remember that >a very low-income GAY List Member who needs >GAY-friendly and GAY-knowlegeable >caregivers, is sitting quietly in an >Arctic icescape, trying not to be > >another dreadful GAY statistic. > > >My struggle to find safe caregivers, >has been relegated to non-existence, >by a PBS mentality that has decide that >I supposedly do not matter. > >Meanwhile the real issues about being single, >whether widowed, divorced, gay, bi, lesbian or whatever, >issues that unite EVERY PWP who is ALONE , >were left aside by a homophobic PBS. > >And while PBS glossed over my GAY-ness, >and is frightened to deal with human diversity >as it REALLY is, in ALL lof its wonderful forms, > >I still have no nighttime caregiver, and, >tomorrow I am expecting to be HOSPITALIZED. > > >Ivan Mfowethu Suzman (Q-PWP/49/39/36) > >