David Boots, former List member is one of the most gifted describers of the Parkinson's condition I know. He captures at least for me the pain, embarrassment as well as the black humor of at least what I have experienced with PD. He has chosen not to continue as a listmember but I have remained in contact with him episodically during his absence. His stories about Chris Kinesia are often bleak but also humorous and at times uplifting. He penned the following PD story. (as he did last year for Camilla's group) and at my request gave permission for me to send it to the List. Chris Kinesia is a character of his that first appeared on the List on 2/4/97. If you want to contact David regarding this or any other matter, he can be reached at [log in to unmask] -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "May I have this dance?" He strode confidently into the party catching the eyes of several women in the room. He felt great at the moment, the medication was working just right for a night of fun and frolic. He was "on" and several people stopped and told him how good he looked. Chris just beamed and thanked them in a warm even voice. He made his way to the open bar in the far corner just as someone tapped him on the shoulder. "Chris?" He turned around and saw his old girlfriend, Ann O' Reksia. "Ann, how have you been? he said (noting how she still seemed too skinny). "Good...gosh, Chris, you sure look like you're doing better these days" she gushed. Chris Kinesia hesitated briefly before answering. It's true that his medicinal intake had finally become regulated and also included vitamins and homeopathic additions. But attitude and determination had also played major roles in this change as well. He resolved never to give up hope that someone would find a cure in his lifetime. "Thanks" he replied "I'm watching what I eat and try to exercise some each day". He continued "Are you and.."? "No, we gave up on trying to make things work...hey, can we talk about something else?" "Sure" he said "would you like to dance?" Ann extended her hand and he led her on to the dance floor. They moved from memory as the music took them back in time when everything had seemed a lot more simple. She felt wonderful in his arms and during the slow dances, she held him close as his cheek caressed her hair. He didn't want this night to end and told her so. She responded by holding him even tighter as the music played. "Chris, you don't realize how hard it was for me to break up with you. I don't know if it was the PD causing you to lash out at me and others close to you but it scared me. And now, you remind me of the Chris I fell in love with years ago...warm, self-assured, and friendly. Tell me this is real, tell me that we can work things out this time". "Ann, I still have PD but it's basically under control now. I've done a lot of work on my health and my attitude and feel I have emerged a better person for my efforts. When I was in the middle of it, I was too self-absorbed and angry at life to contemplate the number of people I was pushing away from me. Now, I'm ready to start again. If you'll take me back..." She reached up and pulled his face close for a kiss. He responded by picking her up and spinning her around while never breaking the kiss. It was a moment right out of the movies........ "Chris" his caregiver called from downstairs "we're gonna be late for your neuro appointment. Do you need some help getting ready?" "Will you just give me a friggin' second! I'm getting there" he yelled back as he sat twisting and grimacing on the edge of his hospital bed, his socks half way on his feet, his shirt and pants hanging on a nearby chair mocking his efforts. He knew that eventually the caregiver would come to dress him and dry his tears. He knocked over his plastic drinking cup, spilling juice all over himself. He began to sob. He only had dreams and memories of how things used to be. His arms flailed about as he tried to direct his muscles to cooperate. His caregiver, hearing the commotion from downstairs, took a deep breath, and entered the room. "You're just having a difficult time right now, Chris" he said as he helped him to his feet. Trying to be light-hearted he asked Chris "May I have this dance?" This time, it was a long while before he could stop crying.