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Ivan 'n Fellow List-Family.... SMAAAAACK!!! <----Barb wallops the hapless Ivan upside his noggin) Pay attention here, Ivan, m'friend, 'cause ya KNOW I calls 'em as I sees 'em and and have some thoughts I want to share with you (in no particular order). Read on: You live in a small town in a lightly populated state where all the differences, the quirks, the conditions known to humankind are greatly magnified because ALL differences STAND OUT in that type of hot-house atmosphere. In a small city in Maine an articulate not-so-old Gay male with Parkinson's who doesn't take sh*t from ANYONE is GOING to be noticed and probably in a negative light because differences are much more noticeable in a small group than a large one. If you lived in L.A. or that lovely city by the Bay, San Francisco, New York, or other large city, you'd be "just another person," and few would bat an eye at your sexual preference because there's tons of OTHER things folks can hate. As sad as that is, it seems that some people just HAVE to find folks to hate. But Ivan, THIS isn't a case of personal dislike - it's all about making money... TV stations and other media are BUSINESSES - and in today's highly competitive world they're that more than ever before. First and foremost, the purpose of a business is to MAKE MONEY. EVERYTHING else takes second place to that. IF interviewing openly Gay people was an income producer for a TV program's sponsors, you can bet you'd be seeing them Gay fellas all over the tube. IF someone comes up to you and says "Ivan, I don't like Gays," whether or not you LIKE to hear that, it's most likely they're speaking the truth. That individual doesn't like ANY Gay, and their feelings are directed directly at you in that moment. THAT'S PERSONAL, and it hurts. If a TV station or program.... a BUSINESS which owes it's very existence to funding from commercial sponsors, either ignores or doesn't point out to the vast majority of it's customers that a featured guest on a program is Gay, OR sidesteps dealing with potential controversy by not even bothering to have Gay guests on the program, THAT'S BUSINESS. IT'S *NOT* PERSONAL. And despite your pain, you should attempt to visualize the greater picture in this case, and try to understand the power of the almighty dollar. The fact of the matter, IN THIS ONE CASE, is that your ego is bruised, but you'll survive that IF you put a different, more realistic spin on how you see this. It's a BUSINESS and most likely in evaluating future guests, having a guest speaker with PARKINSON'S - in light of recent publicity about a young, much-loved Hollywood luminary revealing he has PD - is now desirable because it will make MONEY for the sponsor. IF that guest speaker is an articulate, heterosexual, not-even-middle-aged woman who's children were removed from the family home by apparently misguided local agencies due to their mother's having Parkinson's Disease, THAT will be a money-maker for the sponsors. THAT person with Parkinson's is a MOTHER and MOTHERHOOD is still up there along with apple pie and the American flag as being a national sacred cow (tho the latter has taken a bit of a beating in the last few years). When there's a choice like this, you MUST remember - IT'S NOT PERSONAL. And at least the issue of PARKINSON'S Disease IS being publicly addressed by a respected media entity. (and those sparkly white teeth and winning smile yours will look just as good on the NEXT TV program you're on... honest!) <smile> Soooo, cool it, Ivan, 'cause IT AIN'T PERSONAL! Sending ya a BIG hug and lotsa love... Barb Mallut [log in to unmask] -----Original Message----- From: Ivan M Suzman <[log in to unmask]> To: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN <[log in to unmask]> Date: Wednesday, January 06, 1999 11:59 PM Subject: If a PWP is not strictly heterosexual (rated PG) >^^^^^^ WARM GREETINGS FROM ^^^^^^^^^^^^ :-) > Ivan Suzman 49/39/36 [log in to unmask] :-) > Portland, Maine land of lighthouses 21 deg. F :-) >******************************************************************** > >I really wonder why, after being personally asked >during a 45-minute phone call from WETA-TV, in December, >to rearrange my entire life so that I could be filmed >by the PBS Lehrer team, specifically, >soon after January 5th, > >(I have been going through HELL , trying to get >my PD-ravaged teeth repaired and reformed, >to smile the best PWP smile imaginable) > >that I read only second-hand, on our PD list, >but not directly from PBS, > that I will NOT be filmed !!! > >Due to budget constraints.??? What a pile of - - - - ! > >WAIT JUST A FRIGGIN' MINUTE! >What the HELL has happened???? > >I wonder if my identification as GAY >has reduced my struggle to find >GAY-friendly, GAY-experienced >and GAY-supportive "CG's" >to a sad lament, a buried footnote on >heterosexist PBS's pages about PWP's. > >My issues as a PWP who can no longer >live alone, who somehow manages to live on, >and who is not a slut, who will not take >anything in a bar that comes his way, >making me just like ANY single PWP, >except that, GAY PWP's are out-in=the=cold, > gone from the PBS progamming. > >I am not angry, I am FURIOUS >at being excluded by PBS. >ME? NOT camera-worthy?? >WHO started the TV-ready list, PBS??? >No, not Michael J. Fox, no, this GAY PWP did!! > >I am just as charming, and, although > >I don't have children, >I love children immensely. > >I am not in Hollywood, >but I do perform for 45 minutes to an hour, >on STAGE with the Maine Gay Mens' Chorus, >whose TUXEDO-ED performances are legendary. >I actually managed to do THREE shows in December. >I have a become more than a local hero. Phone our President, >Mark McDonald, and find out for yourself! > >After all, you all know how I capably >'bust my ass" to help ALL of us. > >If a PWP is not strictly heterosexual, >and if being "married" or "single" becomes i.d.-worthy, >although I, too, am alone,.and need companionship, >I begin to feel marginalized and unaccounted for. > >Perhaps one becomes a partial PWP, a P-PWP, >or maybe I should self-i.d. as a Q-PWP (q is for queeny), > >Partially-presentable under limited circumstances. >No matter how one contributes to overcoming PD. > >I try to be fully acceptable >in my own, 'different" way, >and know I am both GAY, >and PWP "family" like anyone else, > >even if I am a Matthew Shepard to some, >or a GAY pain in the derriere to several. > >I was made the way I am, >by a God and Goddess combined. >I am a special PWP, and I have gifts to share >with all of you PWP's, > >whether I feel sensitive, and sultry, >like the Shechina, >the Jewish Sabbath's god-queen, > >Or manly, masculine, bearded, and, >smelling strongly of Stetson after-shave, >feeling horny, like a "real" man, >and reminding you of Charlton Heston >in the desert heat of Khartoum!! > >I reflect at times a "special" >PWP make-up, combining a bit of Schweppes, >a tinted queenishness, >lilac leg-warmers, GAY apparel, > >leather and fantasy and, >a rose-colored stud in my left ear. > >Well the PBS people missed out >on a chance to kkkick around >this kkknowlegeable PWP's >ideas. I can go elsewhere >and be welcomed. > >You kkknow, folks, >I am a published SCIENTIST. >I have many hard hours of South African >and Minnesotan and Maine-iac >anatomy labs and editorial jobs >behind me. > >I really feel so excluded by >the wealthy white male straight ego-tripping >power structure that would like to make me >a queer. > >A faggot. > >I have been spat upon by a C.N.A. > >My pencilled sketch of an elm tree >at sunset in November >was defaced by crude >caricatures of copulating stick-figures. > >My GAY home was burned by arson in 1996. > >My kitty, Celie, was murderd in that fire. > >I am nonetheless, truly thrilled that >my PWP-sistah, Hilary Blue, >a thoughtful, caring and honest >friend, who as a Jewess, >understands what being a MINORITY >is all about, was filmed today!! > >Hilary has made a brilliant,brave >and unforgettable entrance, for all PWP's, >into the world of publicity, >and hopefully, a CURE for PD, >a world that our Californian friend, >Barb Malllut, and I have also pierced. > >But where does PBS leave me? >Life-line was installed today in my house. >A huge speaker with buttons was hooked up >this morning at 11 AM !!! > >I have visions of being taken to an early grave >just like Matthew Shepard in Wyoming. >because if a PWP is a GAY man, >you are more of a Queer >than a worthwhile Breeder. > >One of the boys at my favorite bar >put it very bluntly when he said > "Ivan, darlin', there will always > be queers and there will always > be niggahs" > >So, please people of the List, >WAKE UP! and remember that >a very low-income GAY List Member who needs >GAY-friendly and GAY-knowlegeable >caregivers, is sitting quietly in an >Arctic icescape, trying not to be > >another dreadful GAY statistic. > > >My struggle to find safe caregivers, >has been relegated to non-existence, >by a PBS mentality that has decide that >I supposedly do not matter. > >Meanwhile the real issues about being single, >whether widowed, divorced, gay, bi, lesbian or whatever, >issues that unite EVERY PWP who is ALONE , >were left aside by a homophobic PBS. > >And while PBS glossed over my GAY-ness, >and is frightened to deal with human diversity >as it REALLY is, in ALL lof its wonderful forms, > >I still have no nighttime caregiver, and, >tomorrow I am expecting to be HOSPITALIZED. > > >Ivan Mfowethu Suzman (Q-PWP/49/39/36) >