1. Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live
forever,
because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live
forever.
-Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest
2. Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime
rates
in the country.
-Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
3. I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward
4. Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that
but not with all those flies and death and stuff.
-Mariah Carey, pop singer
5. The police are not here to create disorder. They're here to preserve
disorder."
-Former Chicago mayor Daley during the infamous 1968 Democratic
Party
convention
6. China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.
-Former French President Charles de Gaulle
7. I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with
the law.
-David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he
failed to pay his taxes.
8. The Internet is a great way to get on the Net.
-Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole
9. Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
-Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower
10. Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas.
-Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery
(I bet Dennis already knew this!!!)
11. We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
-Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
12. Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same
reactions in the brain as marijuana....The researchers also
discovered
other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they
are.
-Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22
13. "It's like an Alcatraz around my neck."
-Boston mayor Menino on the shortage of city parking spaces
14. Half this game is ninety percent mental.
-Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark
15. They're multi-purpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they
take them off.
-Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the
Air Force nearly $1,000 for an ordinary pair of pliers.
16. It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
-Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
17. I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I
have
was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse
with those people.
-Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
18. It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the
impurities
in our air and water that are doing it.
-Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
19. The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make
them unsafe.
-Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia
20. Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part
of
your life.
-Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a
federal anti-smoking campaign.
21. The president has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
-Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on "Larry King Live".
22. After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal,
the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of
David Steele to the post.
-Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode
Island
23. That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass,
and I'm just the one to do it.
-A congressional candidate in Texas
24. Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public
mind.
-General William Westmoreland, during the war in Viet Nam
