Boy, John you sure know how to ask a hard to answer question. I am not a
Medico and I have no training in counseling, but, for what it's worth, I'll
give you the benefit of my experience in trying to handle similar problems.
John I Quist wrote:
> Hello all,
>
> I wonder: where do we set the limits to what we tell our loved ones -
> girlfriends / boyfriends / wives / husbands / best friends / family?
I don't think there are any firm definitions of "limits" that can be set,
you draw the line when it seems to not be working, you may be able to reset
the limits as circumstances change.
> Should we always share everything, or is that cruel?
> Should we always hide what isn't obvious about our grief and illness?
>
there is no "always" in most everything about PD, because the disease is
constantly, and slowly in most cases, changing your needs and the degree of
care you require from someone else. This can affect their ability and
willingness to provide that care.
>
> I of course understand that the answer isn't simple, and that some of you
> have loved ones that also read the list, but I would like to hear your
> opinions.
>
> Speaking for myself, I feel that saying everything is just too much. I
> cannot put all that load on my wonderful girlfriend, who already worries
> enough about my health.
My wife has not taken a very aggressive attitude toward finding out much
about the details of PD and
what the future may hold. She thinks I am feeling sorry for myself when I
complain about symptons I am having, her solution is "Think Positive and it
will all go away". I don't think she really believes that , I think it 's
more her way of expressing denial.
She has just recently, after four years, signed on to the CARE list and after
only a couple of weeks she seems to be changing her attitude of one I can
share. "Expect a Miracle, but prepare for the worst"
> On the other hand, I always ask her to accompany me to my neuro, so that
> she can ask questions to the person who knows the answers. In that
> respect I wouldn't dream of hiding the facts from her. It's just my fears
> for the future that I mostly keep to myself.
>
Maybe you should speak with your neuro about always having her there with you
and about keeping things to yourself.
>
> "In sickness and health, for richer or for poorer..."
> (How does it go?)
Bob Chapman 65/61/50
California Desert
